The seasonal punchline follows a turbulent and highly public year for the royal formerly known as Prince Andrew.
Loss of titles after years of controversy
Earlier this year, Buckingham Palace confirmed that King Charles had formally removed his younger brother’s remaining royal titles, leaving him officially known as Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor.
The decision came after years of controversy linked to Andrew’s association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, along with allegations made by Virginia Giuffre, which Andrew has consistently denied. Although an out-of-court settlement was reached in 2022, he was forced to step back from royal duties and relinquish multiple honours, with his Duke of York title also being removed last year.
Public turns royal downfall into satire
Against that backdrop, the British public has now transformed the situation into festive satire.
A joke referencing Andrew’s loss of titles has been crowned the funniest modern Christmas cracker joke of the year, beating competition from quips about Oasis, Sabrina Carpenter and Nigel Farage.
The winning joke reads: “Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.”
Comedy competition highlights 2025 headlines
The joke was unveiled as part of Comedy channel U&GOLD’s annual Christmas cracker competition, now in its thirteenth year. Members of the public were invited to submit topical jokes inspired by the biggest stories of 2025, before a shortlist was put to a public vote involving 2,000 British adults.
Another Andrew-related gag also made the rankings, asking: “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
Andrew was far from the only high-profile figure referenced. The top 10 list also included jokes about Lily Allen and David Harbour’s turbulent split, Angela Rayner and Claudia Winkleman, reflecting a year packed with headline-grabbing moments.
Winner rewarded with festive prizes
The winning joke was written by Ben Smith from Chelmsford, who received £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke U&GOLD Christmas crackers. The top six jokes will also appear inside limited-edition crackers this Christmas.
The full top 10 Christmas cracker jokes
- Why is (former) Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.
- Why don’t Noel and Liam (Gallagher) want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.
- Which pop star carves her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.
- What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.
- What is a French burglar’s favourite Christmas film? Louvre, actually.
- Could Lily Allen and David Harbour get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things have happened.
- Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver to.
- What is Claudia Winkleman’s favourite part of Christmas dinner? The taters.
- Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she trumps them all.
- Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.
