"I will pay attention to it. I won't do so again next time."
"Perfect. Go wash your hands. The food won't taste good if it gets cold later." Asher finally let me go, looking satisfied.
At the dining table, I dared not miss any of his words for fear of missing out on every emotion he expressed.
Luckily, I didn't make any mistakes today.
I watched as Asher had been smiling. Then I cautiously brought up the topic.
"I took a few days off."
Asher's eyes lit up. He asked, "So you mean you can stay at home all the time?"
I struggled to speak. But my words were getting stuck in my throat. I said, "Dad is not doing well. I plan to stay with Mom for a while. I must go to the hospital. So, I won't be coming back here for now."
Seeing him silent, I was frightened and nervous.
"Mom is not in a good state. She has been crying. I am a bit worried."
"What about me?" Asher no longer looked happy. He felt a little lonely.
"What's wrong with him? Is he sick or dying?"
I was confused again.
Holding my luggage, I was about to leave. Asher looked at me without saying a word.
"Aren't you going to stay at my mom's place for a while?"
I felt suffocating anxiety.
"No, I won't be there." Asher emphasized, saying, "That's not my home. Our home is here."
Asher's parents had been divorced early on. I knew he had always been obsessed with the idea of having a family. He wouldn't let me leave, so I wisely kept my mouth shut and refrained from saying anything that might upset him.
I kept thinking on the way as to whether I shouldn't have left him. Upon opening the door, I regretted not coming earlier to take care of my mother.
Clothes on the sofa were piled up randomly. It was hard to tell if they had been washed or not. The dishes and utensils from the day when my father fainted were still piled up in the sink.
There was a trash can by the bed filled with used tissues.
Since the day my dad fainted, the time had come to still be here.
Asher had been messaging me. It seemed like he had never been in a good mood.
[Is it because you hate me that you don't come home? Maybe I don't deserve to have a family. I'm not worthy of you.]
[Did I hold you back? Can I talk to you?]
[My new song is about to be released. I want to tell you such news, yet I dare not. Will you find me annoying?]