I stood in the courthouse bathroom with both hands on the sink while staring at a version of myself I still had not fully gotten used to seeing. The fluorescent lights overhead were too white and too honest, flattening everything from the tiny crease between my eyebrows to the half moon scar near my hairline.
The blazer I wore sat slightly crooked because the thick scar tissue across my upper back always pulled more on one side than the other. I tugged at the collar and then stopped because every time I reached back, I could feel it there as a raised and tight sentence written permanently in my skin.
My name is Elena Rhodes, and I had been waiting exactly three years for this specific day to arrive. A soft knock came at the door and the voice of my sister, Maya, came through low and careful.
“Ellie, Ms. Jenkins said the judge is ready for us to come inside now.”
I opened the door and saw her standing there in the floral dress we had found at a vintage shop, the one with tiny pearl buttons and a hem I had stayed up late fixing by hand. She was fourteen now and tall for her age, appearing to most people as a shy girl trying to be brave while I saw the kid who used to sleep with her sneakers on in case we had to run.
“You do not have to go in right away if you are not ready, and you can stay with Officer Miller until we start,” I told her gently.
“No, I am not leaving you alone with them,” she said as she lifted her chin with a strength that made her seem much older than her years.
We walked down the hallway together through that old building smell of dust, paper, and lemon cleaner where the walls had heard a thousand lies and learned not to react. When we stepped into Courtroom 4C, I felt the presence of my parents before I even saw them sitting at the defense table.
My mother sat in a cream suit she used to save for special services with her Bible in her lap and her hands folded neatly as if she were posing for a church bulletin. Beside her sat her husband, Franklin, who was broad shouldered and freshly shaved with his mouth arranged in that familiar line of offended dignity.
Behind them sat two rows of church members who were shoulder to shoulder with faces set in expressions of sorrowful support. Our side was much smaller, consisting only of Ms. Jenkins, who was my attorney, and the medical expert, Dr. Lawson, while Maya and I took our seats.