That night, she sat on her bed and took the documents out. She kept them in a brown envelope that she had sealed and resealed so many times the flap no longer stuck properly. Inside were 4 things: her national identity card, her school leaving certificate, her bank card, and at the very bottom, folded once along the middle, her birth certificate.
She unfolded it on her lap.
It was the original, slightly worn at the fold, the print faded in 1 corner where water had touched it once many years ago. She had been careful with it ever since.
She read it the way she had read it 100 times before: her full name, her date of birth, the hospital where she had been born, her mother’s name printed in clean official letters.
Mother: Victoria Lawson.
And beside the line that read father, that small blank, unhelpful word:
Unknown.
She sat with it in her lap for a long time, listening to the sounds of the building around her: a television 2 floors up, someone’s baby crying briefly and then stopping, the lift grinding into action somewhere and then going quiet.
She thought about what her mother had said. He knew. He chose not to stay.
If he knew, if he had been told, then he had a name. He existed somewhere. He was not unknown in the true sense of the word. He was only unknown on paper because her mother had chosen not to write him in.
Rebecca had always understood that choice. Her mother had been protecting something. Protecting her, maybe, from the particular pain of having a father’s name on a document but not in her life. A name without a presence. A box filled in but hollow.
She folded the birth certificate carefully along its crease and put it back in the envelope. She put the envelope in her bag, ready for the morning.
Then she turned off the light and lay in the dark and looked at the ceiling and tried, without much success, to sleep.
Thursday arrived cool and overcast, the sky the color of old cotton, a light wind moving through the palm trees on Mr. Caleb’s street.
As Rebecca walked from the bus stop to the gate, she pressed the bell. The gate opened.
Mr. Caleb was already in his study when she came in. His door was open that morning, which was slightly unusual. She could see him at his desk from the hallway, reading something, glasses on, coffee beside him.
“Good morning, sir,” she said, pausing at the doorway.