"My phone's been blowing up all day. Second aunt, third uncle, my oldest aunt—everyone taking turns. Mom told them you're hiding something. That you must be funneling money to your parents."

I was at the dining table drinking water. I nearly choked.

"Funneling money to my parents? My mom's a retired teacher—her pension's higher than your salary. You think she needs my pocket change?"

Alex waved his hand, irritated, and dropped onto the couch.

"Stop being stubborn. Mom's just curious—she wants to take a look. We've got nothing to hide, so why act like we do? One look won't kill you. But you keep refusing, and now it looks like—you know—like you're protesting too much."

I looked at this man who had shared a bed with me for three years. Not only did he not have my back, he thought I was the one being unreasonable.

I didn't say anything. Just went back to the bedroom.

You can't reason with someone this spineless.

Early the next morning, before I'd even brushed my teeth, someone was pounding on the door hard enough to shake the walls. The second I opened it, Lola bulldozed her way in. She didn't even take off her shoes—just made a beeline for the pile of unopened delivery boxes in the corner.

Riiip.

She tore into a package with her bare hands and yanked out the face towels inside.

"I came to see what you've been buying every single day, all these precious things. I'm checking for Alex so he doesn't get the family savings emptied out by some spendthrift woman!"

I looked at Alex, who had just shuffled out of the bedroom. Not only did he not stop her—he walked over, pulled open the TV stand drawer, fished out a handful of shopping receipts, and handed them to his mom.

"Mom, look at these. Last week's supermarket receipts. Check if anything shouldn't have been spent. I'll keep a closer eye on her from now on."

I laughed—actually laughed out loud.

Fine. You want to audit me? Let's audit.

"Go ahead! Look all you want! Not just last year—this year, the year before, I'll give you everything. And starting today, I'm done managing this household's finances. Whoever wants the job can have it!"

Lola snatched my phone in one grab and plopped down on the couch. She licked her index finger, then jabbed at the screen.

"Oh! Cherries? $299 a box? Is this thing made of gold? You eat it and live forever?"