No matter how wildly he fooled around outside, whenever he returned to me, he acted like the gentle, patient husband, the father waiting for his baby to come.
He would soothe me softly, pull the blanket over me, and when my emotions slipped, he would repeat over and over, “Wife, I’ll fix myself,” “Don’t cry, alright?”
As long as I ignored the dirty things he did outside, we could still keep a marriage that looked warm and proper.
But I couldn’t keep doing that, and that was why I chose to walk away.
“Sit up and eat a little.”
Zion leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“After we eat, I’ll drive you to the hospital for the checkup. Isn’t your appointment today?”
At the dining table, while he watched me drink milk, Zion suddenly chuckled, with a hint of testing in his voice.
“Wife, I thought you would call me last night crying, just like when you used to catch me cheating, calling nonstop until I picked up.”
“What happened, little crybaby suddenly switched personality? You really don’t care anymore?”
I held the cup without raising my head.
“Isn’t this exactly what you’ve been hoping for?”
My voice stayed even. “A quiet, obedient Mrs. Payne who acts like nothing ever happened.”
Zion clearly stopped, as if my words caught him off guard.
Then he reached out and brushed my hair, like calming a small pet that had finally stopped resisting.
“It’s good you understand now. Men like us, how could we not have social situations to deal with?”
“Wife, relax. No matter what, you will always be the only woman I marry. The ones outside are just passing shadows.”
Passing shadows.
Those simple words landed lightly, soft and weightless, yet hard to breathe through.
I suddenly thought back to many years ago.
When Zion confessed to me, he had promised that in this life, he would only love me, stay true to me, and never turn his back on me.
So promises really do wear away. To the point where even he no longer trusted his own.
My nails pressed into my palm, the small pain spreading slowly, barely keeping me alert.
“Let’s go.”
I got up, cutting off Zion.
During the drive to the hospital, the car stayed quiet.
In the past, I would speak happily at times like this, chatting about the baby.
Only when the topic was the baby did I feel that Zion still cared about me, still cared about this family.
But now, I didn’t want to keep pretending anymore.