“Count yourself lucky.”
The van disappeared into the night right away.
I dropped beside the road, my legs too weak to hold me up.
Then I felt warmth slowly spreading under me.
Blood. A lot of blood.
My shaking fingers called 911.
The ambulance sirens grew from far to close.
When the medical team lifted me onto the stretcher, their looks suddenly changed.
“Pregnant woman having early labor!”
“Heavy bleeding!”
By the time the baby came out, daylight had already arrived.
Under the harsh white lights in the hall outside the operating room, I was pushed into the delivery room, then pushed back out again.
The doctor placed the newborn beside me, a tiny shape wrapped in a white blanket, her skin strangely red, her breath so light they were barely there.
Too tiny. So thin it hurt just seeing her.
The second I saw her, I knew right away she was far smaller than a full-term baby.
My chest tightened, and I lifted my hand, my fingertips shaking hard, yet still softly touched her cheek.
That tiny bit of warmth felt so real it almost made me break down.
“I’m sorry…”
My throat tightened, my voice rough and barely recognizable. “Everything is Mommy’s fault.”
If I hadn’t gone home alone, if I hadn’t been taken, she could have stayed inside me longer. She wouldn’t have been forced into this world so early, so sadly.
“It’s Mommy who failed to keep you safe.”
The doctor stood nearby, softly going over the situation, saying the baby needed an incubator, saying she was born early, but her signs were steady for the moment.
I only caught parts of what he said, yet my mind felt strangely clear.
“The baby’s father…” the doctor hesitated.
I cut him off. “Don’t inform Zion.”
In that second, my tone was so calm that even I felt startled.
The doctor paused, then nodded.
When they pushed the baby out, I stared at the door until it shut before finally closing my eyes.
Not long after, the ward door swung open.
Zion stepped in, his expression terrible, his face cold, several people behind him.
He didn’t even look at me. He marched straight to the bed, his voice full of anger.
“Are you happy now?!”
I lay under the heavy covers, my body so weak that even lifting my eyelids took effort, yet his words froze me.
“Natalie, must you really push things to this point?”