But all that rage collapsed into despair the moment the healers revealed my sire's wasting sickness—a curse eating through his blood that no moon magic could cure.
I begged Kael. I reminded him of everything my bloodline had done for him—the sanctuary, the warriors, the territory rights that had lifted him from nothing. All I asked was that he go through with the mating ceremony as planned.
Just long enough for my sire to leave for the distant healing sanctuaries with peace in his heart.
Kael agreed. But he kept it from Raven.
At the mating feast, she drove her vehicle straight at me.
My sire threw himself before the rushing metal.
In his final moments, bleeding and broken on the stone courtyard, he placed my hand in Kael's. Take care of her, he whispered through bloodied lips. Swear it on your wolf.
With the entire pack watching—with every elder pointing accusing fingers—Kael finally stayed by my side.
For a long time after, I drowned in guilt. I had killed my sire. That was the only thought my wolf could hold.
I woke howling in the middle of countless nights, my claws tearing at my own flesh. If I hadn't begged Kael to stay, would my sire have been spared the stress that weakened his blood? If I had never recognized Kael's scent at all, would my sire have lived to see me properly mated? To hold pups of our line?
Day after day. Moon after moon. I sank deeper into the darkness, hurting myself again and again.
Kael would hold me while I broke apart, murmuring apologies into my hair while his Alpha presence wrapped around me like a cage. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Eventually, time dulled the sharpest edges. Life settled into something quiet. Something bearable.
But it was all a lie I told myself.
He had never forgotten Raven. Not for a single night.
All he saw was her—her misery, her helplessness. He bent himself backward to make it up to her.
He never once saw what he'd cost me. What he'd cost my sire.
In the darkness, I heard the soft whisper of the den door sealing shut. My eyes opened.
Sire... I want to reject the bond with Kael. You won't blame me, will you?
Sleep wasn't coming. I rose from the furs and walked to the corner where my sire's memorial portrait hung, surrounded by the soft glow of remembrance candles.
My fingers traced his smiling face. The grief swelled until my wolf keened with it, the sound trapped in my chest.