I died on my son Jimmy's fifth birthday.
Before I died, Jimmy pushed open my door and saw me lying on the bed.
He looked disgusted and said, "Mom, you're so lazy that you even have to sleep on my birthday. You don't love me like Kristina does!"
Jonathan Evans, whom I loved for eight years, hugged Jimmy and said coldly, "Are you sure you want to cause trouble on Jimmy's fifth birthday? Then sleep here and wait for your death! Kristina and I can also make Jimmy happy today!"
After saying this, he slammed the door shut.
I also closed my eyes forever.
The night before Jimmy's birthday, I took out the only dress that Jonathan had given me from the closet with difficulty.
In the past eight years, I hadn't worn it once.
At the last moment of my life, I wanted to wear it and take one last photo with Jonathan and Jimmy.
Even if in the end, my face in this photo would be cropped out, or replaced by Kristina's face, at least there was a moment when it belonged to me.
My lower abdomen was abnormally bulging due to the tumor, which made my skirt tight and made me look like a pregnant woman.
I looked down and suddenly felt relieved.
Fortunately, the dress he gave me was fake. If it was the authentic one that Kristina wore, I might be unable to wear it.
It was almost the end of my span as the doctor told me. Just putting on the skirt took all my strength.
From the living room, I heard Jonathan and Jimmy's surprised shouts.
"Kristina, you look so beautiful today! I want you to hug me!"
Jonathan responded helplessly but lovingly, "Okay, I'm not as good as Kristina. I picked that skirt for her. I have good taste, right?"
Amid the laughter and chatter outside, I suddenly opened the bedroom door.
The smiles of them suddenly froze.
Jimmy was still young, so he said innocently, "Why is mom wearing the same clothes as Kristina? But it looks so ugly on her... Why doesn't mom wear lipstick? Mom's face is so ugly!"
A hint of embarrassment showed Jonathan's eyes, and he nodded apologetically at Kristina.
He turned to look at me with disgust in his eyes.
"Why are you wearing this? Do you have to copy the outfit of Kristina? Do you want to embarrass me? Today is Jimmy's birthday, can you not cause trouble?
"Get back in and change your clothes now! Also, didn't I buy you any makeup? Why do you look like this? It makes me sick just looking at you!"
My lifeless eyes fell on Kristina's dress. It turned out that the authentic one looked so good...
It made her skin look so good.
But I was so ill that I might not look good no matter what I wore.
Seeing me standing there without moving, Jonathan frowned with impatience.
"What's wrong with your belly? It's so big. Can't you eat less? Why are you so disgusting after married? Why are you wearing a tight skirt with such a big belly? Do you want everyone to know that you're fat?"
Then, Jimmy made faces at me.
"Mom is so ugly. Kristina is prettier!"
After saying that, he turned around, buried his head in Kristina's arms, and acted coquettishly.
I looked embarrassed and helpless.
Seeing this, Kristina spoke up to ease the tension between us.
"Today is Jimmy's fifth birthday. For the sake of the child, please stop quarreling..."
"Catherine, how about I help you put on makeup?"
When I heard her voice, I shook my head hastily, and my movement was so big that it hurt my chest.
But Jonathan snorted and said, "You're so ungrateful."
I forced a smile and slowly turned back to the bedroom.
Those few steps almost drained all my strength. After closing the door, I squatted on the ground, sweating profusely.
My tears and sweat dripped together, and I heard the sound of their chatting outside.
"Okay, stop helping her. If you hadn't gone abroad, how could I have married her? I regret it so much now!"
Kristina comforted him softly, "It's okay. Aren't we doing well now? I can still fulfill my promise and stay with you and the child."
Jimmy didn't understand what they were saying, but he was laughing.
"I just want Kristina to accompany me. I don't want my mother..."
Jonathan sighed helplessly when he heard this.
"When I first saw her, she looked exactly like you. I didn't expect that, after we got married, I found she was so much worse than you..."
They didn't deliberately lower their voices, and Jonathan knew very well that I could hear them.
But he didn't care.
He never considered my emotions.
I could ignore his thoughts, but Jimmy's disgust for me made me feel heartbroken.
Even Jimmy thought I was redundant in this family.
Chapter 2 GiftFrom the day we got married, I could sense that Jonathan had someone else in his heart.
There seemed to be a barrier between us.
Everyone said he loved me and was very good to me.
He was a rare good man.
But I always felt that he was using me to make up for his sorry feelings for another person.
He made me grow my hair long and wear long skirts which I never wore.
I even wore high heels.
He even bought me makeup that I never used.
He just wanted to mold me into someone else.
Only after I dressed up as he asked would he show me a loving look, take my hand, and say softly, "I will always love you and we will never be apart again."
I looked at his eyes full of possessiveness and persistence, and listened to his loving words, but I felt disappointed.
I didn't tell him that I had seen the pictures he had locked away.
The woman in those photos with long hair and makeup was very similar to me.
But I didn't expose him but acted with him.
Because I loved him and was afraid of losing him.
But I went against his ideas more and more often and wanted to be myself more and more.
I hoped he would get used to my personality and fall in love with the real me.
He was slightly annoyed at first, but he bore it as long as he saw my face.
The relationship between us grew better and better until Kristina returned after I gave birth to Jimmy.
The beautiful love that I had worked so hard for was easily shattered by her.
Right after I gave birth to Jimmy, Jonathan took Jimmy to Kristina's place every day.
The two of them took care of Jimmy's daily life together.
I laid in the hospital with no one paying attention to me.
As a result, I suffered from postpartum depression.
When Jonathan came to visit me, I put the diagnosis in front of him.
I begged him, trying to reawaken his love for me.
But he just looked at me coldly.
"Catherine, stop acting.
"I only asked Kristina to help take care of the child, why do you have to act like this?
"Since you have mental problems, then let Kristina take care of Jimmy from now on. You are not capable to be a mother."
After saying this, he ignored my pleas, pulled away my hand that was holding his arm, and left the ward with a cold face.
The tumor in my lower abdomen suddenly started to hurt so much that my forehead sweated.
I used my last bit of strength, crawled onto the bed, and lay down.
I wanted to close my eyes and rest, but all I could see were scenes of me and Jonathan together.
It was like looking back on my life.
I lay flat on the bed, wriggling my body laboriously like a silkworm pupa.
I took off that cheap skirt.
The pain made me curl up involuntarily, and my skirt was pushed to the ground.
My sweat soaked the quilt, but I didn't bother to wipe it.
The doctor was right.
I couldn't hold on any longer.
I closed my eyes gently, but the laughter in the living room continued to reach my ears.
Jonathan said to Jimmy, "Show Kristina the gift you picked."
Then, there was the sound of cartons being rummaged.
Kristina covered her mouth in surprise and said with emotion, "Jimmy, how did you know that I like this necklace? Is it because you and I have a tacit understanding? Our baby is so sensible! I also bought you a gift!"
"Surprise!"
Jimmy couldn't hide his emotions and immediately screamed, "Superman! And Transformers!"
"Even my dad doesn't buy these for me. You're the best in the world!"
My breath became weaker and weaker.
Kristina smiled and said, "Jimmy, what gift did your mother give you? Can you show it to me?"
Before Jimmy could speak, Jonathan immediately said coldly.
"Don't mention her. It took her so long to change her clothes!"
As soon as he finished speaking, he turned around and shouted towards my room, "Have you finished changing your clothes? How long do you want to keep us waiting? Even Jimmy is never late for school, are you not capable as a five-year-old child?"
A bit of bloody taste suddenly overflowed from my throat, but I suppressed it.
My eyes filled with tears.
In his eyes, was I not even a human being?
Without getting any response, Jonathan lost his patience.
He started to yell angrily, "Why are you dawdling? Do you want the three of us to wait for you here? Don't put on makeup. It's useless!"
Suddenly, there were irregular footsteps outside.
A small figure gently opened the door of my room.
I knew it was Jimmy, but I no longer had the strength to lift my head.
I also wanted to touch his little face one last time and see him smile.
I wanted to hear him call me mom.
Even if he hated me, it didn't matter.
But Jimmy only took two steps after opening the door. When he saw me lying there, he looked disdain.
He said, "Mom is so lazy that she even sleeps on my birthday. She doesn't love me like Kristina does!"
His voice was clearly heard, and Jonathan immediately came in angrily.
Seeing the skirt that I pushed to the ground, he suddenly frowned and looked angry.
"Why did you throw the skirt? Is it necessary? Why didn't you throw me and Jimmy out together? Catherine, what are you doing? Jimmy and I don't owe you anything!"
"Are you sure you want to cause trouble on Jimmy's fifth birthday? Then just sleep here and wait to die! Kristina and I can also make Jimmy happy today!"
I didn't have the strength to reply but could only sob.
I was wrapped in a quilt, and he kicked me impatiently with his leather shoes.
"Are you pretending to be dead? Can't you hear me? Jimmy has been calling you. Who did you ignore him?
"Look at you, how can you be a mother? I was blind to marry you!"
After he finished speaking, seeing that I still didn't respond, he slammed the door.
I couldn't hear or see anything.
Then, he and Kristina took Jimmy, carrying the snacks and yogurt, and walked out of the room as intimately as a family.
As the door closed, I closed my eyes forever.
At the last moment, I thought, "If I hadn't been so persistent at the beginning, would I not have to come to this point?"
Chapter 3 I Was DeadAs the clock struck midnight, colorful fireworks bloomed in the amusement park.
When I opened my eyes, I met Jimmy's surprised eyes.
I excitedly wanted to hug him tightly in my arms, but my hands went straight through his body.
It turned out that I was already dead.
I died in our home.
I died on Jimmy's birthday.
My soul followed them uncontrollably, floating in the air.
I watched Jonathan buy the same snacks for Jimmy and Kristina and pay for them to play.
He was holding their bags, standing on the ground with a smile, waiting.
The happy smiles on the three people's faces made my heart ache.
Kristina bought an ice cream for Jimmy, and Jimmy excitedly asked her to hug him.
Jonathan spoke in a blaming tone, but he looked doting.
"You're five years old now, you'll make Kristina tired.
"When you grow up a little bit, it will be your turn to hug Kristina. Do you want to be a real man, Jimmy?"
I watched Jimmy become anticipated.
He raised his hand and promised solemnly, "In the future, I will protect Kristina and dad like a Superman!"
At that moment I realized that Jimmy could also speak sweetly.
He just didn't want to tell me.
I followed them to walk in the amusement park. When Jimmy was tired of walking, Jonathan carried Jimmy on his back.
After making sure Jimmy was asleep, he took Kristina's hand tenderly.
"Thank you, this is the happiest birthday Jimmy has ever had."
"Let's go home, Kristina."
Hearing that they were finally going home, my heart seemed to start beating again at this moment.
They would soon know I was indeed dead.
Would they be sad?
I wondered if Jimmy would shed a tear for me as his mother.
I was stuck on this problem for a long time until they opened the door to our house again.
Looking at the empty dining table, Jonathan's smile froze.
He looked gloomy and shouted angrily, "Catherine! You have been idle at home. We have spent a whole day outside, but you didn't even cook a meal?"
Jimmy was awakened by his voice and rubbed his eyes in confusion.
He said in a soft voice, "I'll call my mom."
Then, I watched Jimmy approach my bedroom and I felt so nervous.
To be honest, even if Jimmy didn't like me, I didn't want to scare him after I died.
Just as Jimmy was about to push open the door, Jonathan suddenly stretched out his arm and picked up Jimmy from the ground.
"Just ignore her. I can cook for you."
I breathed a sigh of relief, watching the two of them happily finish their meal aside.
After the meal, there was still no movement in the room.
Jonathan called me impatiently.
The ringtone suddenly echoed in the living room, but no one answered.
He had no patience with me. After hanging up, he strode towards the bedroom and kicked the door open.
"What do you want to do? Are you waiting for me to invite you?
"You didn't even go to Jimmy's birthday party. How can you be a mother like that? Are you waiting for me to beg you on my knees? Do you think you are the queen?"
He kept questioning me, but I didn't respond at all.
Jonathan frowned impatiently.
The next second, he took a step in front of my body.
He suddenly pulled the quilt off me.
My body had already gone cold. I didn't even have time to put on a piece of clothing.
He looked gloomy and threw the quilt on me again.
"Catherine, why are you so disgusting? Jimmy is still at home, are you so shameless that you don't even want to wear a piece of clothing?"
He wiped in disdain the parts of his body that had touched me. Then, he grabbed my arm from outside of the quilt and dragged me off the bed to the floor.
Seeing my body falling limply, he finally realized something was wrong.
The next second, he reached his hand under my nose.