Just as I was quietly comforting myself, halftime arrived. He sat on a bench during the break, and a girl came over to offer him water. He politely declined. I picked up my bottle of water and walked over. When I faced the girl, she pouted with displeasure.
Kenny noticed I was standing in front of him but gazing at that girl. His brows furrowed slightly. He pulled me closer until we were just an inch apart. Only then did I turn to look at him. He got up to take the water from my hand and drank it.
Sitting next to him, I took out a tissue to wipe his sweat, saying, "That girl isn't good for you. Her makeup is too heavy, and it seems that she has a bad temper. I'm afraid you'll be bullied if you're with her."
Surprisingly, Kenny didn't choke on the water this time. Instead, he drank calmly, as I watched him. He finished the water in one go, stood up, and walked away to throw the bottle into the trash.
As I stared at my empty hands, it dawned on me that he had drunk and discarded my water. Just as I was about to ask him why he didn't buy his own water, I noticed his back soaked with sweat as he walked back towards me.
Kenny returned to sit beside me and smiled, "Why are you never satisfied with any girl?"
I was taken aback. I wanted to explain, but I couldn't find the words. After a few changes of expression, I opted to remain silent.
I didn't understand why. Whenever I saw those girls on their own, I thought they were perfectly fine. But the moment they appeared beside Kenny, I couldn't help but find fault. I used to attribute this to something like "fathers never approving of their sons-in-law." Now it didn't seem like the case.
Because I realized it wasn't just dissatisfaction I felt. I also felt a hint of anger. When I was younger, I didn't know where this unnamed emotion came from, but now that I was older, I understood. And as time passed, this feeling grew stronger.
That was jealousy, the manifestation of liking someone. It was like biting into an unripe fruit tinged with bitterness.
Realizing this, I had an answer deep down in my heart, yet I wasn't willing to admit it. I was not sure if it was due to the almost familial bond of many years or my confusion about this thing called love.
I was not sure of my feelings.