“I’m very busy, working.” I said and hung up the phone.
I stayed in Riverton for three days. On the third night, I saw John at the hotel entrance. He looked a bit haggard.
As soon as he saw me, he immediately came over and grabbed me, “Anna, are you avoiding me?”
“John, I'm very busy. I’m working, okay? I'm not avoiding you, I'm just on a business trip.” I was really at a loss dealing with such an entangled John.
Seeing him like this, I suddenly thought of my past self. Maybe in John's eyes, I looked the same back then.
Work was exhausting and I had no time to deal with him, but he was relentless.
I sat on the bed and asked him, "What kind of reaction do you want from me for you to think it's right? Throwing a tantrum? Yelling questions? Suspecting your relationship with Emily?"
John was stunned by my questions, but I had no time to waste on him: “Do you feel helpless? So do I. I just want to work well. When there was a job shift, I had the most available time, so I took on this project. What’s the problem?"
“But you weren’t like this before. I thought you left because I didn't come back that night. I wasn’t with Emily, I slept at my friend's place. Really," John confessed, which I didn’t expect, but it didn’t matter anymore.
I told him, “I believe you. Then what? If there’s nothing else, I'd like to take a shower. I walked a lot today, and I'm tired."
He couldn't refuse, and I didn't continue to entangle with him.
While showering, I thought about something from before.
It was also about John not coming home. He really hated telling me where he was, he wouldn’t tell me his whereabouts.
It was when Emily returned from her studies, and John and his friends gave her a welcome-back party secretly.
That night, John didn’t come back, and I was worried he drank too much at the gathering and might have a stomach problem. I searched from his office to the bar where they last celebrated.
I looked for him bar by bar. During the search, someone tried to drag me into a nearby staircase, and I cried in fear, but I was more worried about John.
Until I saw John and Emily holding hands in a bar not far away, I felt like a huge joke.
That night, a heavy rainstorm hit. Emily had John holding an umbrella for her, while I, just across the street, became a truly homeless drenched rat.
The next day, John came back and saw my messy self sitting on the sofa. He was startled.