"Honestly, he looked like he was about to cry out there."
"Right? Before we closed the doors, he told the doctor that if anything went wrong, save the mother first. No hesitation." She laughed softly.
If it hadn't been for tonight's discovery, I would have believed it too. I would have sworn Derek Shaw was the man who loved me most in this world.
But now, hearing their praise, I couldn't even summon the energy to smile along.
Love or no love—it didn't matter anymore.
The pain of labor and the pain inside my chest twisted together, knotting into something unbearable. I clenched my jaw and let the sweat pour.
When I'd dilated to three centimeters, a long, sharp needle slid into my spine, and the agony slowly dulled to numbness.
I forced myself to focus on the delivery. Just the delivery. But my thoughts kept drifting, slipping out of my grasp like water through fingers.
The grief spread, quiet and relentless.
Then—a sharp, piercing cry.
My baby was born.
"Six pounds, three ounces—a healthy little boy! Congratulations, Mama."
The midwife placed him beside me. I traced every feature of that tiny, scrunched face with my eyes, and something inside me crumbled into softness.
Baby, I hope you won't blame me for the decision I'm making right now.
If I could, I'd give you a whole, perfect family.
But your father can't give that to us.
A tear slipped down my temple. I turned my head away and pressed my lips together, fighting the sting in my nose, refusing to let myself break.
"Honey!"
Derek burst through the doors, grabbing my hand, his face bright with joy. When he saw my reddened eyes, his expression crumpled, and he leaned close.
"Was it bad? God, I'm so sorry—I should've arranged to be in the room with you—"
I slipped my hand out of his without making a scene. "Where's the baby?"
"With the nurses, getting checked out. Don't worry—I already looked him over myself, every little detail. Took photos of everything, memorized his wristband info and all."
"Does it still hurt? You did amazing, sweetheart."
Derek's eyes were fixed entirely on me.
He'd been running around nonstop, handling all the paperwork and booking the best postpartum recovery center in the city.
Early the next morning, I hadn't even opened my eyes when I heard the nurse push open the door.
"By the way, if you've decided on a name, you can head down to the first-floor lobby to process the birth certificate and insurance card."