I felt my crush had become a joke.
Tears blurred my vision. Suddenly, a hand offered me a tissue.
It was Locke.
The embarrassment and shame in my heart surged once again.
As if I'd found an outlet for all my pent-up anger, I yelled furiously, "Get lost! Can't you just leave me alone? Don't you know how much I hate you?"
I thought I had long since let go of that youthful romance.
But today, when I saw Locke again, all those painful memories resurfaced.
Those memories haven't blurred despite the passage of ten years.
Now I realize that it wasn't him I hated, but the pain of not being able to stand up to my family when I was young. My reaction back then was just the result of a sensitive, insecure teenage pride.
I couldn't bring myself to say the apology I owed him. As he turned and walked away, only the bitter scent of smoke lingered in the air.
When I returned to the private room, I was in a low mood.
I sat in a corner, drank a few too many without realizing it, and then lost consciousness.
That was where my memory ended. What happened last night slowly became clear in my mind.
I must have, under the influence of alcohol and with the excuse of apologizing, spent the night with Locke.
After I got home, I immediately left the class group chat and blocked all my middle school classmates.
Although I'm not so vain as to think Locke would cling to me and demand I take responsibility, I still felt a bit nervous.
Three months have passed, and my life has returned to normal.
Life has been so calm that sometimes I wonder if everything that happened that night was just a figment of my imagination.
However, I'm pregnant.
I didn't dare delay, and before I could develop too much attachment to the child, I quickly scheduled an abortion.
I remember the class president joking that night, telling Locke to invite him to his wedding.
I don't want my child to be born fatherless, carrying the stigma of being illegitimate for a lifetime.
I believe that the mistakes of adults shouldn't be borne by a child.
As I lay on the cold operating table, a dull pain began to stir in my stomach.
It felt like something was gripping me tightly.
I couldn't tell if it was because my child sensed the threat of death.
My heart ached.
This reaction made me sit up.
I thought to myself, "Forget it, I can't bear to do this. What did the child do wrong?"
"Doctor, I..."
Before I could finish, a strong hand pushed me back onto the bed.