I walked into the bedroom. My side of the bed was neat. His side was a tangle of blankets balled up, pillow knocked sideways.
The closet door hung open. He'd torn through it looking for clothes that morning, and my T-shirts had been shoved to one side, wrinkled into a ball.
I stood in the middle of the bedroom, dripping water onto the floor.
Then I walked to the closet, pulled open his side, and started yanking his clothes out one by one. Throwing them on the ground.
Dress shirts. T-shirts. Hoodies. Jeans. The coat I'd bought him. The scarf I'd knitted. Two months I'd spent on that scarf, pricked my fingers more times than I could count. He never wore it. Not once. Said it was ugly.
All of it, on the floor.
Then I crouched down, picked up the coat, and held it against my chest.
It still smelled like him. Aftershave. Cigarettes. A faint trace of liquor.
I buried my face in it and breathed in deep.
Then I let go and threw it back on the pile.
I stood up, walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower.
Hot water poured over me, and my body finally stopped shaking. I stood under the stream with my eyes closed, mind blank. Not thinking about anything.
I didn't know how long I stayed like that. When I finally stepped out, the mirror was completely fogged over. I reached up and wiped a streak through the condensation, and my face appeared.
White. Eyes swollen. Lips drained of color.
I stared at that face for a long time.
Then I walked out and picked up my phone.
A flood of unread messages.
From a coworker: "Girl, what happened?? What's that flower on your social media about?"
A text from a friend: Did you and Valentine get into a fight?
A text from my mom: Sweetie, coming home for dinner next week? I'll make ribs.
I replied to each one.
I'm fine.
We didn't fight.
Yeah, I'll be there Saturday.
When I was done, I opened the photo of that wilting rose and stared at it for a long time.
Then I deleted the post.
My phone buzzed again.
Unknown number. This time, a call.
I picked up.
"What the hell do you want?" Valentine's voice, raw, like he'd smoked through an entire pack.
I didn't say anything.
"I've been out looking for you for hours. I'm soaked to the bone, you won't pick up, you won't text back. What do you want from me?"
I still didn't say anything.
"Say something."
"Say what?"
He choked on that.
"Tell me what you want." His voice dropped low. "Just tell me. I'll give it to you."