That smile was his tell—it always appeared when he moved from anxious to at ease.
Maybe he hadn't expected that me, his official wife, helping his mistress choose outfits for their kid would be so exhilarating.
Just before entering, I'd seen a new post by Sherry, displaying similar photos online, trying to gauge if her followers agreed with the kid's dad's taste.
I leaned on the desk, slowly sitting down opposite Ryan. "Ryan, maybe we should have a kid."
His smile dropped instantly. "Hannah, we agreed on no kids."
"Maybe it's time to rethink that."
"Are you backing out on our agreement now? Look, work's crazy, I can't manage both you and a kid."
His words were icy, sending a chill down my spine.
We can't back out on our agreement?
He'd sworn there'd never be anyone else, yet here we were.
He had the energy for a holiday fling but none for his wife.
Let me lay it out. Ryan and I did have a kid once.
A year after tying the knot, I found out I was pregnant. Ryan's business was hitting a critical pivot, and he was swamped everyday.
I couldn't stand watching him struggle alone, and since our little one was such an easy baby, I hustled right alongside him, day and night.
Even five months pregnant, I was still running around on-site.
Due to Ryan's radical shake-up at work, long-time employees staged a protest, and I ended up right in the middle. A shove down the stairs, and just like that, I lost the baby.
That fall nearly killed me. I spent a month in the hospital, and it did a number on me.
Once home, I found myself trapped in grief, nights spent holding the baby's clothes, crying until I couldn't anymore.
Ryan held me through countless nights.
Eventually, he suggested we might be better off not having kids at all, thinking it might spare me further pain—I agreed.
As years passed, his business stabilized, my health got back on track, and both our parents started nagging us about a baby.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't reconsidered.
Someone once warned him, "If you wait any longer, your wife will be too old to have kids!"
Ryan clapped back, "I'm the one who doesn't want kids. Plus, I've got a medical condition. I can't have kids, period."
That shut me down, and I figured, maybe we could just keep going as we were.
But then, about a month ago, I stumbled across Sherry on a "people you may know" suggestion.