A cold expression crossed Janet's face, her words dripping with disdain and contempt.

"Don't mention that loser. He's worked for seven years and still can't afford a house, forcing me to live in a rented place all this time."

"A person like him, what's the point of even being alive? He might as well be dead!"

Each word was like a knife, cutting deeply into my heart, the pain making my soul tremble.

I had slaved away for her for seven years, giving her the best life I could, only to be told I didn't even deserve to live.

If this was the result of my seven years of atonement, then why didn't I just die right after the incident all those years ago?

What is the meaning of my life as a monk for these seven years?

"Forget that loser. Janet, it's been years; did you miss me? You little minx, you're even more beautiful than you were seven years ago!"

"Oh, stop talking. Let me taste you, this pure little lady, and see if you're as sweet as you were back then…"

Samuel said lasciviously as he stripped off both his and Janet's clothes, eagerly pressing himself on top of her.

Seeing the live pornographic show about to unfold before me, I was filled with hatred but couldn't avoid it. I could only turn around and face the wall.

I felt desolate.

So, the trauma Janet spoke of was really just reserved for me. With others, there was only pleasure, no pain.

But then again, I was the perpetrator of that time, wasn't I?

I deserved this!

I raised my arm high and slapped myself hard.

Seven years ago, at the high school graduation party, I got drunk and lost my senses.

When I woke up, I was faced with Janet, half-lying next to me, crying and accusing me, with red and white filthy stains all over her lower body.

"Last night, you were drunk and insisted on dragging me into bed… I couldn't overpower you, and you pinned me down…"

"Patrick, I'm going to report you for rape!"

I had a splitting headache from Janet's accusation, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember anything.

But the bruises all over her body didn't look fake…

In a panic, I could only tell my brother, who I rely on for everything.

In a panic, I could only confide in my older brother, who had been my only support. I clearly remember his hands trembling uncontrollably as he smoked. After hearing the whole story, he looked as though he had aged ten years.

It was Janet's brother who came to negotiate on her behalf.