Coming out of the bank, I sat in my car, staring at dozens of pages of transaction records. The amounts Julian had transferred to Lucille ranged from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars. And after every single one, a note was appended: Voluntary gift.
My chest tightened like something was pressing down on it. A suffocating grip closed around my throat, and my eyes burned hot.
I remembered then. I used to admire other women's manicures too. I envied how put-together they looked. And once, just like those carefree young women, I'd booked an appointment and gotten my nails done. I came home and made a point of flashing my pretty fingers in front of Julian, waving them around, hoping he'd tell me I looked beautiful.
The result?
Julian just met my hopeful face with cold indifference.
"Babe."
"I know things have been getting a little better for us," he said, grabbing my hand and studying my nails. He shook his head in disapproval. "But the worst thing a person can do is forget where they came from."
"We can't start throwing money around just because life's gotten a little easier, right?"
"What if things get tough again someday? How would you adjust?"
"Babe." He pulled me into his arms. "I still like you best when you keep it simple."
Every ounce of hope in my heart turned to dust.
His words hit me like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head. I stood there, frozen, too stunned to even react. I just watched as he peeled the tiny rhinestones off my nails without a shred of hesitation.
"What's the point of flashy things that are all style and no substance?"
Right.
Flashy things.
All style and no substance.
But Lucille was draped in every flashy, insubstantial luxury money could buy, polished like a porcelain doll from another world entirely.
The laughable part? Every dollar spent decorating Lucille had come from the money I'd bled and sweated for over the years.
How was that fair?
The tears came despite my best efforts. I wiped them away hard and stared at Julian's name lighting up my phone again and again, relentless, until I finally hit accept.
"Babe?"
"You finally picked up!"
"Thank God!"
His voice came through, frantic.
"I've been looking everywhere for you! Where did you go? Whatever's going on, can we just talk about it face to face?"
"Maya, we've been together fifteen years!"
"Not fifteen days! You can't just disappear on me like—"
"Julian."