Looking back, there were signs about a month ago that something was off.
I accidentally saw a package delivery confirmation message on Ford Lewis' phone for an Ultraman action figure gift set that had been delivered.
But we hadn't received any packages recently, let alone something that looks like a toy for a little boy.
Ever since I had a miscarriage two years ago, I haven't been able to get pregnant again.
So why would Ford be buying a toy like that?
At the time, Ford explained it was a birthday gift for the child of a former coworker.
She had helped them out a lot with work stuff, so he wanted to give her a little something. To prove his innocence, he even showed me the coworker's social media post.
The coworker's name was Lily In The Wind, which sounded like she was a lot older than me.
The latest post was a photo of a little boy blowing out candles on a birthday cake.
The woman's face wasn't visible, just her chin. The wrinkles on her neck couldn't be smoothed out even with heavy photo editing, and she had a beauty mark on her chin.
The caption read: [My son joined me for my 48th birthday, wishing I stay 18 forever.]
The incident blew over, until two weeks later when an accident completely shattered my worldview.
That afternoon, I went out for afternoon tea with my best friend.
She's an old hand, and after we ate and drank our fill, she suddenly smiled and said, "Oh right Clara, let me show you something interesting!"
Judging by her mischievous grin, I figured it was probably some funny gossip or juicy scandal.
Sure enough, she showed me a short video on her phone.
Winking, she said, "Clara, look at this guy, doesn't he look like your Ford?"
I took a look, and sure enough, he did resemble Ford.
Ford has thick eyebrows and a wide, high forehead.
Even with black bars over his eyes, I could still vaguely make out the strong resemblance.
My friend laughed breathlessly, "Clara, could it be that your mom asked for too high a bride price back then and drove Ford to sell his body?"
I laughed along with her, "Yeah, with Ford's looks, even the $80,000 bride price my mom demanded would have been too little!"
"$80,000? Your mom bragged she got over $300,000!"
I didn't respond to the rest of her words, because just as my friend was about to put her phone away, I noticed the woman had a beauty mark on her chin.
A woman's sixth sense is very accurate, and when catching a cheating spouse, her IQ skyrockets to 180.
That night, I couldn't sleep at all.
I didn't know what Ford saw in her. Old, haggard, vulgar, and with a kid in tow?
I even suspected Ford might be under some kind of spell.
He used to treat me so well.
In college, he wrote me bags of love letters, and proposed 3-5 times after graduation.
His family didn't have much money, and my mom was so picky. She demanded a house over 100 square meters, a car worth at least $200,000, and an $88,000 bride price with no discounts.
I felt bad for Ford, and fought with my mom about it a few times.
But Ford insisted that marrying me would be the greatest blessing of his life, and he would give me everything others had.
Thinking back to how hard it was for us back then, and how we made it through.
Now we have a house, a car, and both our careers are going well.
Except for that child I miscarried two years ago, our life has been steadily improving.
I thought that once my body recovered, we could have another child. A happy, harmonious family.
But life always delivers a wake-up slap when you least expect it!
I confronted Ford officially on Christmas Eve.
I took a half-day off in the afternoon to wait for him outside his office.
But I didn't tell him in advance, just said to come home early for dinner together.
At 3:15pm, he texted me saying his department had an event tonight and he couldn't join me for dinner.
Half an hour later, I was sitting in a coffee shop across the street, watching Ford walk out of the office building alone and get into a purple Mini Cooper.
I walked home in a daze. Passing a flower vendor, I said "Give me a bouquet of lilies."
Ford came home at 9pm.
I sat at the table, unmoving, as the dishes had long gone cold.
Ford said, "You cooked? I said I wouldn't be back for dinner tonight."
I still didn't speak, just slowly rubbed the lily bouquet on the table.
The shabby, worn-out fragrance wafted out, very vulgar.
Even with this artistic, abstruse way of hinting, Ford could easily understand.
This was evidence of his love for me, I thought bitterly.
"Clara, honey... I..."
Ford came over and pushed my shoulder.
My tears began to drip down.
"Ford, tell me why? How is that woman better than me? She's old and brings a son? How long have you two been together? Celebrating birthdays and posting disgusting videos online? Ford, do you have any shame left!"
2"Clara... let me explain, it's not what you think!"
Ford reached out to grab me, and I felt a wave of goosebumps; I didn't want him to touch me at all.
"Get away from me! Don't touch me! You disgusting jerk!"
I lost control and stood up, smashing the vase on the floor.
The glass shattered, just like my remaining sanity and dignity.
"Do you think I wanted this?"
My outburst only fueled Ford's own rising anger.
In over ten years of knowing him, I had never seen him like this.
"Clara Shaw, do you think I wanted this? I'm being forced into it; I'm practically being driven to my death!"
He kicked a chair, overturned a table, and then crouched down, holding his head.
"I'm being driven to my death! You have no idea what my family situation is! To afford the down payment on this house, I sold my parents' home and the land back in my hometown. My mother is almost seventy, living alone in a cramped apartment. I have nearly twenty thousand in mortgage and car loans every month. I work during the day, drive for rideshare at night, and take side jobs on weekends. I can't even afford the three-dollar meat dish in the cafeteria! Do you think this is easy for me?"
I was shaking with anger at Ford. I had imagined countless scenarios, even if he had said he was tired of me or just wanted something new. Even if he had said that any woman who cared for him a little more than I did would suffice.
"So you feel wronged? So you cheat? You sleep with an older woman to relieve stress, don't you? Ford, you're the most shameless person!"
"Me shameless? Clara, who's really shameless here? Look at your mother and brother; they would chew my bones if they could! They want to add your name to the house, and for the first three months, the car was for your brother. He crashed it and fled the scene; the insurance won't cover it, and I have to pay out of pocket for thousands! Plus, that huge dowry you expect? Where do you expect me to get that? Steal? Rob? Sell my kidney? You want to know why I'm with Sophia? I'll tell you straight up, Clara. Because she has money, and she pays me for my time! What about you?"
"What did you say?"
Tears streamed down my face, but my vision was becoming clearer. My heart stopped, yet my mind sharpened.
"You're with that woman..."
"I'm being kept, Clara. Yes, just like you think. Sophia pays me; I'm at her beck and call. Whatever she wants, I have to do. If she wants company, I'm there; if she wants to sleep, I'm there; if she wants to take pictures, I'm there; if she wants to play, I'm there. I had to marry you, and I needed the money; I've been with Sophia for three years! Are you satisfied now?"
With a loud slap, I struck Ford across the face.
"You're utterly shameless! If you were short on money, why didn't you tell me? You never said a word but chose to disgust me and get back at me this way. Are you even a man?"
"I'm not a man, okay?"
Ford wiped his cheek and then pushed me hard, making me stumble.
My palm was cut by the glass, but I didn't feel the pain.
Realizing what he'd done, Ford rushed toward me, "Clara! Clara, are you okay? Let me see where you're hurt!"
"Get away! Don't touch me!"
I pushed him away, gritting my teeth as I struggled to stand up. "I think you're filthy."
"I think I'm filthy too..."
Ford said with red eyes, "Clara, if you want a divorce, I agree. But for the sake of our marriage, you can't just ignore what I'm owed."
"Don't worry, Ford. We'll sort out how much you're owed today!"
I used to think my mother and brother were being unreasonable, but now I see that a man like him is simply not worth it!
I fell ill and had a fever for three days.
When I woke up in a daze, Ford was sitting by my bed.
His eyes were bloodshot, and his expression was numb and stiff. His unshaven beard looked like it hadn't been trimmed for days.
Thinking of the care and tenderness he once showed me made my nose tingle.
"Have you packed your things?"
I asked, my voice choked.
He nodded, "I made a list."
Saying this, Ford handed me an A4 sheet of paper.
I glanced at it; it clearly listed all our assets before and after marriage.
"Clara."
Ford ran his fingers through his hair, "Actually, if you could forgive me, I could tell Sophia not to contact me anymore..."
I scoffed, but tears rolled down my cheeks, "Ford, if you were a man, you wouldn't say such nonsense. At this point, do you really think we can be together again?"
"Clara..."
"Divorce."
I swallowed my sobs, speaking firmly.
I pointed at the list Ford made for me, item by item. "The house was your down payment, and we both pay for it. If you want to sell it, list it, and we'll split it proportionally. The car is yours; it's depreciated, and I won't drive it, so take it. The savings are under twenty thousand; we'll split that too. As for the dowry of eighty-eight thousand, that was for wedding expenses. You wouldn't dare ask me for that, would you?"
However, Ford countered, "That's not a dowry; it's a loan. Before we got married, your mom suddenly borrowed three hundred thousand from me. I couldn't come up with it, and she threatened to hide your household registration. Later, that money was given to me by Sophia..."
"My mom borrowed three hundred thousand from you?"
I was utterly shocked.
Ford insisted, "Yes. All these years, she never mentioned it, and I didn't have the heart to ask. So if you insist on divorcing, you need to help me get that money back first."
3I want to divorce Ford right away, not waste another day.
If what he says is true, I should get that money back and return it to him.
So the next morning, I went back to my parents' place.
The house originally belonged to my grandpa. It was demolished and rebuilt last year, a 120 square meter place.
Now only my mom, my brother Ethan, and my 3-year-old nephew live there.
My household registration was originally there too, so I should have a share of the house.
But when it was rebuilt, my mom said they were keeping it as a wedding house for Ethan, and I should give up my share.
I was already married with my own home, so no need to fight with my brother, she said.
I was unhappy about it but went along in the end.
Some ideas have been drilled into me since birth by my mom's endless brainwashing.
As the older sister, I'm not supposed to compete with my younger brother.
As soon as I walked in, a chubby little ball of energy came charging at me - my 3-year-old nephew, looking just like his fat-headed dad.
Smack! A rubber dart stuck to my forehead.
"You're dead! Aunt, you're dead!"
The kid's gleeful shouts brought my mom out. She took one look at me and burst out laughing.
When I angrily flicked the dart away, she instantly switched to a displeased tone.
"Why'd you come empty-handed?" she scolded.
"Visiting without even bringing something for your nephew to eat or drink?"
"Cheapskate, cheapskate! Aunt is a cheapskate!"
My undisciplined little brat of a nephew stuck his tongue out at me.
I couldn't be bothered with his spoiled antics - he was raised by my mom, what do you expect?
Ethan isn't married yet, but mom said he used to have a girlfriend. She got pregnant before marriage, had the baby, then took off.
While mom was cooking in the kitchen, I went in to help.
I brought up the money Ford gave her.
As expected, mom exploded in rage, calling me an ungrateful wretch who bites the hand that feeds.
"I raised you with such hardship, just to let him mistreat you like this? And now he wants to take the money back after the divorce? Not a chance!"
I said, "Mom, when we got married we clearly agreed on the amount of the house, car, and bride price of $88,000 - all laid out. Ford said the $300,000 you forced him to 'borrow' wasn't part of the bride price."
"Bullshit! Just because he says it's not, that makes it true? Is there an IOU? Let me tell you, Clara. The money is long gone. I don't believe you can still go along with him to sue your own mother!"
My mom was a shrew in her younger days, a real terror in the neighborhood.
Ford said he do have the transfer records, which my mom can't deny.
But now mom is insisting the money was part of the bride price, making things very difficult.
At this point, I really can't compromise anymore.
"Mom, if you put it that way, I did have a share in this rebuilt house before. 120 square meters, worth maybe 2 million dollars. If we three - me, you, and Ethan - split it evenly, I should get $700,000 or $800,000 at least. If you insist on not paying back the $300,000, I'll just take my share and give it to Ford."
Mom slapped me hard across the face, making my eyes water.
"You idiot! Daring to threaten your own mother! Don't forget, you already gave up your share when they demolished it! Now you pull this on me?"
Holding back the pain, I didn't back down. "Mom, you say Ford didn't give you an IOU, but I never signed an agreement either. If you don't pay, Ford can just sue, same result!"
"Go ahead and sue! You shameless wretch! Waste of 20 years of raising you! Only know how to be tough with your own family! Worthless piece of trash, can't even lay an egg, lets a man play with you for a while then kicks you out, and still help the person who did it!"
If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I'd hardly believe a mother could say such things about her own daughter.
Maybe in her eyes, a daughter is just a cash cow.
I don't know where that $300,000 went, but since mom admits taking it, 80% chance it went to support Ethan.
I left without eating, didn't even bother saying goodbye.
I have a friend who's a lawyer, I think I should ask a professional about this.
As I walked downstairs, I reached for my phone - forgot it, probably left it in the bathroom.
Gritting my teeth, I went back upstairs to get it, planning to just ring the doorbell and leave.
But the door wasn't fully closed. So I quietly went in to grab my phone and go, not wanting to face mom again.
That's when I heard mom's voice in Ethan's room, talking to him.
"If I'd known your sister would turn out like this, I should have just left her in the countryside to marry some old bachelor. Letting her study, look how she turned out. Ethan, I'm telling you, you better make sure that money is treated as bride price, not a penny less!"
"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Spending $300,000 to secure you a grandson—how valuable is that? Mom, please calm down. I've told you before that Clara isn't reliable. Fortunately, it's just her today; if we hadn't made her get rid of that child back then, there would be one more person in the family competing for this house. If she had a child, she could have easily claimed more than half of it!"
In that moment, I felt like I'd been struck by lightning, my entire worldview shattered.
What did Ethan mean - the child I miscarried back then...wasn't a natural miscarriage?
He made me get rid of it?
Just so my child wouldn't be registered in the old house, taking up a share in the future?
He killed my unborn child!
My own brother, and that was his own nephew!
My nails dug into my palms, drawing blood, as I bit my lip until the metallic taste spread.
I slowly backed out of the house without making a sound.