Grandma always said that when she died, she wanted me to scatter her ashes in the sea—that was her wish.
But I couldn't do it.
I was diagnosed with cancer, and I was going to die before her.
To afford the ten thousand dollar-per-dose miracle drug, I willingly undressed and surrendered myself to Aaron.
He said, "Amanda, don't think you can leave me again."
I became his caged bird, and I lied to him, telling him I would stay forever.
***
The night I finished taking care of Grandma's funeral arrangements, I left Romland, leaving only a letter behind.
Missing person posters with my face were plastered all over Edgeville's subway stations.
Aaron was frantically searching for me, but all I wanted was to hide from him.
I am sick and will die soon.
Before that, I have to get rid of the child in my stomach.
The day I went to get an abortion, the doctor insisted the father sign the paperwork.
I hired an actor, but just as he picked up the pen, bodyguards surrounded us.
Before I could react, a cold, familiar voice came from behind me.
"Amanda, it's been only three days, and you've already found our child a new dad?"
Aaron... he found me.
I had chosen a small hospital to avoid being found, but he still tracked me down.
I couldn't escape him.
But I had already made up my mind—no matter what, I was leaving.
I grabbed his hand, his eyes bloodshot with restrained anger.
"Aaron, let's talk."
Chapter 2I smiled at him, already at peace, but he wasn't.
Aaron dragged me into the hospital room.
The moment we entered, his kisses rained down on me in a frenzy.
"Amanda, you're being disobedient. You're trying to run again."
He held me close, and for the first time, I felt his body trembling—he was scared.
"Aaron, I'm not keeping this child, and I don't want you either."
I spoke firmly, but it was as if he hadn't heard. He reached into my clothes, trying to unhook my bra.
"Amanda, if you give birth to our child, you won't leave, right?"
"Now that the old woman is dead, you have something else to hold onto, don't you?"
He... was acting insane.
Desperately, he continued to strip my clothes. I slapped him hard, my disappointment reaching its peak, and tears instantly spilled from my eyes.
"Aaron, listen carefully. I don't want you anymore. You can keep me locked up, but you can't make me stay."
In the three years we were together, he never said it, but I knew he had been watching Grandma secretly all along.
I... wanted to escape.
I was betting on a shred of decency in him.
But he just laughed.
"Amanda, you owe me. Have you forgotten? You'll spend the rest of your life repenting for abandoning me."
He held me tightly, and I couldn't move. I... lost the bet.
He wasn't the Aaron I used to know anymore.
And I really did owe him.
The cheerful, righteous young man who had once told me countless times that he wanted to be a guardian of the nation—he was gone.
Then, my alcoholic father killed someone.
I... couldn't drag Aaron down with me and ruin his reputation.
So, I ran away. I ran for three years.
I owed him.
I knew, the feelings Aaron had for me are nothing more than obsession.
If I were to die by his hands, would that satisfy him just a little?
Chapter 3Aaron took me back to Romland—it was the cage he built for me.
I was his canary, and I belonged there.
A bitter smile tugged at my lips, and Aaron's large hand immediately covered mine.
"Amanda, there are doctors in the villa who will watch over you until you give birth to the baby."
His voice carried a gentle coaxing tone, but his grip on my hand was firm.
He was afraid I would run. I didn't respond and turned my head to look out the car window.
When I left, the flowers outside were still blooming.
Today, they were all wilted.
They were flowers I had planted, one by one, during those long, dull days.
Now, not a single one remained, just like the outcome between Aaron and me.
I can only admit defeat.
"Once the baby is born, we can plant new ones together."
Aaron gently stroked my head, trying to show his care for me.
But I wouldn't live long enough to give birth.
And I wouldn't be keeping this child either.
Chapter 4That night, Aaron lay beside me, just like before.
He reached out to touch me, and I moved away.
But he was still overbearing and pulled me into his arms.
"Amanda, I've arranged for a tracker. This way, we'll always know where the other is."
After saying this, he remained silent, only tightening his hold on me.
A tracker—something embedded under the skin. Aaron was serious this time; he was determined to keep me tied to him.
Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, and his breathing grew heavier. It seemed like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a long time.
I crawled out of bed, and he didn't notice.
I went to the bathroom and pulled out a small pill from my sleeve.
The doctor had said that once I took it, the baby would be gone on its own.
I reached down to touch my belly—it was hard to let go.
This was my first child, and it would be my last.
Having had it, it can be considered fulfilling.
Chapter 5Just as I picked up the pill and hadn't swallowed it yet, the atmosphere around me grew cold.
In the next second, Aaron's large hand wrapped around mine.
He took the pill, and I tried to snatch it back.
But he shoved me hard against the wall.
"What is this?"
He stared at me, his eyes red like blood.
"Amanda, do you hate me so much that you'd kill our child?!"
He looked at me, his eyes filled with disappointment and rage, ready to spill over.
He hadn't been asleep; he had known all along that I was going to kill the baby.
So he was waiting, waiting for me to take action.
"Aaron... I..."
I tried to explain, but it seemed like he had reached his limit.
He threw me onto the bed.
My bones felt like they were about to shatter as he ripped off his shirt.
He pressed down on me.
"You don't want the baby. You don't want me to have any leverage over you, is that it?"
I... had lost all dignity.
But I didn't want to explain. I wouldn't tell him I was dying.
He was crazed, and all I remembered that night was pain.
Aaron wasn't satisfied with my reaction. He didn't stop until I started bleeding.
He left, without even looking at me.
He stripped me bare and left me lying on the bed. Not long after, a doctor came in.
Chapter 6I had lost all my energy. The doctor said my body was too weak.
He told me to get plenty of rest.
After three bottles of nutrient solution, the child was saved again by him.
The next day, Aaron took me to get that tracker implanted.
The place was dark, and I was locked to the bed.
"Anderson, anesthesia isn't good for the baby," a man in a white coat said from the side.
Aaron didn't respond, but his expression said it all.
The child... is a more important bargaining chip than me.
I lay on the cold bed, the flesh on my wrist being cut open. My face was covered in cold sweat, but I refused to make a sound.
"Amanda, if it hurts, just scream... please..."
Aaron was frightened by my silence, but I just smiled at him.
I wondered, when I die, would this thing follow me into the grave?
It was terrifying to think about.
Then, I passed out—it hurt too much.
Chapter 7When I woke up again, Aaron was gone, but he left a note.
"Amanda, I've got work. Be good and rest at home."
I closed my eyes, pain radiating from my wrist. A small blue dot indicated that the tracker was active and could pinpoint my location.
More attention than they give to prisoners. I forced a bitter smile.
On the TV, Aaron and Nora appeared together, a picture-perfect couple.
Aaron always said it was just a contract, a business arrangement between their two families.
He explained it back then so I wouldn't be upset.
But I was just a bird in a cage. How could I ever compete with the daughter of the Peyer family?
Just then, my phone rang. It was Aaron.
"Amanda, I've been drugged. Come here."
Outside, the wind was howling. I threw on some clothes and rushed out.
Chapter 8He had been drugged.
Over the past three years, this happened often, and I had grown used to it. I had almost forgotten that Nora was still by his side.
I mechanically grabbed some warm water and the antidote.
As soon as I opened the door, rain poured down in torrents, and the wind nearly knocked me off my feet.
I got into the car and started driving. The night was so dark, I couldn't see the road ahead.
I only knew I was about a few dozen meters away. I could see Aaron, with Nora supporting him.
He glanced in the direction of my car, and then turned back to kiss Nora on the lips.
They entered the house together.
Did he call me here just to see this?
I didn't know how to feel—only that my heart was drowning in something cold.
Yes, what difference did it make if I came?
I was always his canary, kept in the shadows. A single tear slid down my cheek.
At this moment, my heart was truly shattered.
Chapter 9I wanted to turn around and leave, but a pickup truck suddenly cut me off.
The driver said that Aaron had given instructions. If they saw my car, they were to stop me. He wanted to spend a beautiful night with his fiancée.
I was dragged to the neighboring villa, tied to a bed, forced to watch the silhouettes of the couple in the other villa.
I... a figure that couldn't be more familiar.
A wave of nausea hit me hard.
I wanted to vomit, but the atmosphere around me suddenly changed.
More people appeared, and they shut the door.
Their laughter made my heart tremble.
I told them I was carrying Aaron's child, but they only laughed harder.
"You? Carrying Aaron's child? You're just a bird to him. Miss Peyer wanted us to keep you company, so a bird like you wouldn't try to seduce someone else's fiancé."
When they laid their hands on me, I suddenly laughed. The blue dot on my wrist went out.
After enduring so much pain to have it implanted, it was useless when I needed it the most.
The world really was unfair.
I was already dying.
Did they still have to humiliate me?
But I couldn't fight back.
My clothes had already been torn off. Even if I died here, what difference would it make?
I only knew that I used all the strength I had left to slam my head against the wall.
The last thing I remembered was seeing a group of shirtless men trying to save me.
Aaron, I no longer owe you anything.
Death... would be a relief for me.
It was just a shame about my child.
But in the end, I won't leave so easily.
Chapter 10Perhaps it was my baby who still wanted me to live.
When I woke up again, those men had dumped me at the hospital.
They were afraid of being tracked down, so none of them stuck around.
I had six stitches in my head, and it was wrapped in gauze.
The tracker had also been cut out of my wrist.
The doctor advised me to report it to the police. It was Nora who sent those men. But who would believe me when the daughter of the Peyer family was involved?
I shook my head, and just then, Aaron arrived, still wearing his wrinkled shirt from the night before.
His eyes were bloodshot, but maybe it wasn't love that kept him up anymore.
As I looked at him now, I felt nothing.
He was filthy, but it had nothing to do with me anymore.
Still, he just stared at me, his eyes filled with hate.
"Amanda, last night, you would rather bash your head in than come to me?!"
His voice trembled with rage, as though he hated me to the core.
He was questioning me, but that was the excuse Nora had prepared for me.
Should I argue back?
"Aaron, I came, but Nora locked me up elsewhere. Do you believe me?"
Aaron suddenly laughed, but his eyes were filled with a bloodthirsty fury.
"Amanda, you're lying to me. The tracker at the house was cut off by you, and you even dug it out of your wrist. Do you... want so badly to give me away to someone else?"
Aaron kissed me fiercely. I struggled hard, and blood began to seep through the gauze.
I was in pain—whether it was from sadness or disappointment, I didn't know—but tears flowed down my cheeks.
Maybe Aaron tasted the tears because he finally stopped.
He pulled open my shirt and saw the marks on my body.
His eyes narrowed. They were new marks.
He didn't ask me anything, but I knew he didn't believe me.
"Who did this?" Aaron bit down on one of the marks.