A rare cold wave hit our city, and as someone who's always been sensitive to the chill, I was doubled over in pain. Daniel had promised he'd come home today, yet I stood in the biting wind, feeling like I was bleeding out, and he never showed.
After my D&C at the hospital, I saw a post from his junior, Ada: [Today we face the snow together; this life counts as growing old side by side.] I thought I'd be heartbroken, ready to cry and make a scene like before. Instead, I calmly typed, [Congratulations.] Congrats to them for getting what they wanted, and congrats to me for finally moving on.
As we parted, Daniel grabbed my hand, pleading for me to wait just a little longer. I said, "Let it go; I've waited long enough." I had waited so long that all the love and hate had faded away with the snow.
***
It was freezing outside.
I've been frail since childhood, and snowy days have always terrified me. Today was my birthday, and after weeks of overtime, Daniel promised he'd be home. He wanted to see me as soon as he walked in, so I dressed up and waited by the door. But in my rush, I forgot my keys.
I thought he'd be home soon, so I didn't worry at first. But after two hours of waiting and countless unanswered calls, I realized he wasn't coming. My hands and feet were freezing, and the pain in my stomach was getting worse.
After the twentieth call went unanswered, I felt a drop of blood fall onto the snow. I shivered and called for help. By the time I got to the hospital, the doctor told me I couldn't keep the baby. It hit me only when the cold instruments were inside me—I was pregnant.
A nurse scolded me, "How could you be so foolish? Waiting in the cold for two hours and not even realizing you're pregnant!" I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe, unsure how to respond. Was it silly? Was two hours really that long?
When I thought about it, I had been waiting for Daniel for ten years; it had become a part of me. The nurse asked me to stay for observation for half an hour. I opened my social media and saw Ada's new post: "Today we face the snow together; this life counts as growing old side by side."
In the snowy scene, Daniel's tall figure stood out. I thought I'd be devastated, ready to call him for an explanation. But strangely, my heart felt calm. As I thought of the blood, it felt like a part of me was leaking away. All my overwhelming love for Daniel seemed to flow out with this child, little by little.
I took a cab home alone.
The news of this child's loss hit me hard and fast. I had no energy to think; all I wanted was to brew some ginger soup to warm up and get some sleep.
Chapter 2Just as I finally drifted off, the lights in my room flipped on. The sudden brightness made it hard for me to open my eyes. "Why is the house such a mess? You're home all day; can't you clean up?" I remembered the pile of dirty dishes from my ginger soup, but I felt awful all over, too weak to move.
Daniel thought I was just sulking. "It's just a bracelet; how long are you going to stay mad? I can buy you a new one!" He'd completely forgotten our plans for today. He thought I was still upset about him giving my borrowed bracelet to Ada.
I sighed, "I'm tired and not feeling well; I want to sleep." His irritation flared at my indifference, and he turned to the guest room. I mustered the strength to switch off the light and fell into a deep sleep until noon.
When I woke up, Daniel had sent me a message. "I was too busy yesterday to check my phone. Let's go out for dinner tonight. Dress nicely." Normally, I'd have been thrilled, and excited to get ready, but now, I didn't even want to put on lipstick.
When the time came, I still didn't see Daniel. Instead of an explanation, he sent me a location. When I arrived, I caught a hint of disdain in his eyes. "Why did you come dressed like this? Today's client is important."
In the past, Daniel didn't want me interfering with his work; he preferred I stayed home, handling the household and taking care of him. I thought this dinner might be his way of apologizing, but it turned out the client called out to me first.
Chapter 3"Mia? Long time no see! You look so much thinner. How have you been?" It was Christopher, one of Daniel's important clients and someone I had worked with when I first started my career.
I forced a wry smile. No wonder Daniel had invited me; I thought I'd be the focus, but clearly, I wasn't.
We chatted briefly, and Christopher expressed his disappointment about my resignation. Meanwhile, Daniel had already ordered a feast of spicy dishes.
"You don't usually eat spicy food, right? Should I help you pick something else?" Christopher glanced my way.
Daniel looked surprised.
I chuckled lightly. "I'm just trying to shed some pounds."
I'd known Daniel for ten years—through high school, our first love, and now marriage. I had gone from being his shining star to just his everyday meal.
I remembered everything about him, but he seemed oblivious to my presence. It wasn't entirely his fault; after we got married, I'd been living according to his expectations, like a shadow.
The mood became awkward, and just when it felt like it couldn't get any worse, a striking figure appeared. "Daniel! Is that really you? What a surprise!"
Daniel's eyes flashed with surprise as he pulled Ada aside and spoke quietly. "Didn't we already hang out yesterday?"
Ada dismissed him with a wave and confidently sat down across from him. "This is fate! Look, you ordered all my favorite dishes. You don't mind if I join, do you?"
Yesterday, Daniel had skipped out on coming home because he was out with Ada enjoying the snow. Today, he was missing our shopping plans. I was the unchanging grain of rice, while Ada, a new hire and his former classmate, sparkled like a vibrant red rose.
Daniel's gaze flickered to me, clearly worried I might blow up as I had before. But instead, I simply raised my hand to call the waiter for another set of utensils.
Chapter 4"Daniel used to take me to meet clients all the time," Ada said, glancing my way. "Shopping isn't enough; you've got to help me peel shrimp too."
Daniel had a thing about cleanliness; he hated greasy foods and didn't even like anyone touching his stuff. That's why we never hired a maid—every chore was on me.
But judging by Ada's casual demeanor, it seemed Daniel had no problem peeling shrimp for her.
After a few awkward moments, Christopher made an excuse to wrap up the dinner. Once he left, Daniel went straight to his car, taking Ada home.
I took a cab back, and once I was home, I made myself a bowl of noodles.
When Daniel returned, I had already eaten half. He frowned. "I told you I don't like cilantro. Don't let that smell linger in the house."
"Daniel, do you even remember what I like? You know every dish Ada enjoys, but what about me?"
His annoyance was evident as he rubbed his nose. "Can you stop being so unreasonable? I'm drained from work. How can I remember every little thing? And it's your fault we didn't land that client today. Mia, when are you going to be more considerate?"
Every time we fought, Daniel pushed the blame onto me. In the past, I would have felt guilty and bent over backward to appease him until he calmed down.
But now, the love that once clouded my judgment was gone. I saw the man in front of me wasn't as perfect as I had once thought; my love had merely cast a glow over him.
I finished my noodles in silence and went to wash up. A loud crash echoed from the living room, but I didn't check. Instead, I moved to the guest room to sleep.
The next morning, to my surprise, Daniel had made oatmeal.
"Mia, I might have been too busy with work lately and overlooked you, but you have to understand that I'm working hard for our home!"
This was about as close to an apology as Daniel would get.
But I didn't want to accept it. "I've never liked oatmeal."
With a dark look, he dumped the oatmeal down the sink and left without another word.
Chapter 5For days, Daniel hadn't come home, and honestly, I didn't have the energy to care. After the miscarriage, I felt awful. The doctor said I was weak and needed to focus on healing, so he loaded me up with bitter meds that made my tongue numb. Each bowl of medicine felt like a chore, leaving little room for anything else.
In the past, during our fights, I'd stay up waiting for him, ready with his favorite meals outside his office. Whether it was scorching hot or freezing cold, I'd wait at the door, convinced that if he just ate my food, everything would be okay. It wasn't until I saw a post from Ada that I realized those meals usually ended up in the trash.
Now, I wasn't in the mood to cook; I wanted to work. While I was job hunting, I ran into someone from Christopher's HR department. Christopher offered to help me find a new job, saying he believed in my abilities. It had been a long time since I'd felt that kind of trust. Determined not to let him down, I dove into my new role and pushed thoughts of Daniel aside.
So, when Ada called, I was surprised. "Hey, Mia! I'm with Daniel at a hotel. Can you come get him? He's drunk, and it's not appropriate for us to be alone together." I was in the middle of a project, so I said I couldn't and hung up.
In the early hours, Daniel stumbled home by himself, looking a bit too cheerful. "Mia, why are you still up? Were you waiting for me?"
This wasn't his first time getting drunk with Ada, but it was the first time he came home on his own. I remembered how I used to panic when he didn't come home, waiting to make him a hangover remedy. Eventually, I learned he was always out at bars with her. I'd cried and begged him to explain, but he'd just blocked my number and vanished.