In order to bear her childhood sweetheart's child, who returned from overseas with a terminal illness, my wife, Mia,
insisted on aborting our six-month-old twin daughters.
"It's worth it to exchange two lives for the continuation of his family name.
"Can you stop being so petty? Do you want to lose me after losing our children?"
I told her that I had advanced stage cancer.
She, however, wore a disdainful expression.
"I hate it to see you imitating him.
"If you die, it would be for the best. In this case, I'm not giving birth to any fatherless child. It's all for the best now!"
Later, she knelt in front of me,
begging me to have a child with her.
***
On my thirtieth birthday, I received a diagnosis from the hospital.
It was leukemia. I had roughly one year left.
Like a bolt from the blue, it cast a shadow over my peaceful life.
Before I could figure out how to tell it to my six-month pregnant wife, Mia, she called.
As soon as I answered, I heard her sobbing.
"Honey, I don't want the babies!"
Still trying to recover from the shadow of cancer, I asked slowly,
"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?
"Or are you satisfied with me about anything?"
She did not get pregnant easily.
Since we decided to have a child, we both exercised every day, actively preparing for pregnancy.
But there was some problem with Mia' fallopian tubes. She consulted many doctors and took injections. She got pregnant after much suffering.
However, she was pregnant with twins. She had threatened miscarriage from the beginning and had to lie in bed for four months.
Now that we had finally made it through. there were only three months before the delivery. Why did she suddenly want to give up the fetuses that she had cherished so much before?
"I am not uncomfortable, nor am I dissatisfied with you. I just don't want these two children anymore."
I left aside my own condition and anxiously asked her,
"Mia, where are you? Calm down first and don't do anything foolish."
Mia's voice tapped on my nerves through the phone, calm and resolute.
"I am calm. This is the result of my careful consideration.
"If you love me, please respect my decision!"
I was confused for a while and spoke gruffly.
"What exactly happened? Can you make sense?
"How much suffering have you endured for these two children! You finally got pregnant, and you can meet them in two or three months. Why do you suddenly want to give them up?"
Mia was peevish and often lost control of her emotions. I could only try to comfort her.
"Mia, be good. Wait for me at home and calm down, okay?
"Even if you don't want the children, you should not reject my company."
I racked my brains to persuade her, but she interrupted me in an excited state.
"The uterus is mine, and I have the right to decide whether to abort the children or not. I'm calling you to inform you, not to ask for your opinion.
"That's it, I'm hanging up!"
I panicked and desperately called her, but no one answered.
My 30th birthday became a nightmare for me.
When I rushed to the hospital where she often had check-ups, she had already been pushed out on her sickbed.
The once bulging belly under the bedsheet was now flat.
2I stumbled forward and stopped the wheeling bed.
"Did you have the abortion?"
Mia's face was pale. She answered me without any fluster, as if she was talking about something insignificant.
"Well, the gestational age was too advanced, so I had to have an induced abortion!
"It's two girls. So it's not a pity!"
I stared at her with wide eyes, unable to accept that she, who was about to become a mother, said these words.
At first, when it was confirmed that they were identical twins, she was full of expectations. She said that if they were two girls, she would dress them up as little princesses, and she would share girlish things with them in the future. If they were two boys, she would harden them with challenges and there would be three men to protect her.
Her words were still fresh in my mind. Only a few months had passed. Yet she wasn't sad or regretful at all.
A dense pain welled up in my heart, but when I looked at her pale face, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
"They are our children, our hard-won children. How can you suddenly be so heartless and give up them so rashly?"
Mia bit her lip and lowered her head without looking at me.
"I just feel that I suffer from bearing children. My figure is ruined, my face is breaking out, and I can't eat or sleep well every day. I just can't continue.
"I heard that giving birth requires either a cesarean section or an episiotomy. I'm scared, I'm so scared..."
As she spoke, she buried her face in the quilt and sobbed.
On the way here, I had thought a lot and I wanted to have a good talk with her.
If she insisted on aborting the children due to physical conditions, I would approve of her choice. After all, I was dying. It would be difficult for her to raise the children alone.
If she were to keep the children, since the kids were my flesh and blood, I would arrange everything before I die, at least ensuring that the three of them have no worries in terms of material needs.
I repressed my hurt feelings and tried hard to build myself up mentally.
Rodrick, isn't this good? Mia decide for you. At least you don't have to make the difficult choice yourself.
Although it hurt, I still found a senior caregiver for Mia. Then I went home to tidy up some daily necessities for her.
Halfway through, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to bring the keys. When I returned to the hospital, I saw Mia tightly embracing another man.
"Mia, does it hurt to have an induced abortion?"
The man's hand caressed my wife's belly. They seemed unusually intimate.
I know that man. He was Mia's childhood friend, Mateo Ferrari.
"I heard it's two girls, very beautiful and healthy. Does your heart ache?"
Suddenly, a wave of fear rose in my heart. I felt like something was slipping out of my control.
"No. They are just two pieces of flesh. Once they're gone, they're gone.
"Mateo, nothing is more important than you. Even if it hurts, I can endure it for you!"
Mateo caressed Mia's face with deep emotion, and his voice was sticky.
"Mia, I didn't expect that you would do so much for me.
"As long as I still have breath, I will be good to you and never let you down."
Mia's eyes were full of deep affection, a look I had never seen before.
"Mateo, when I recover, I will immediately give birth to a healthy son for you."
When the atmosphere reached its peak, the two of them got closer and closer, their lips and teeth intertwining affectionately...
3But I felt like suddenly falling into cold water. I was weak all over, with a sharp pain in my chest.
The anger in my breast gradually triumphed over my reason. I took a big step forward, grabbed Mateo's collar, and punched him in the face.
Mia reacted quickly. She immediately stepped forward and protected Mateo behind her with her arms.
"Rodrick, what are you doing?
"Where are your manners? How can you hit Mateo for no reason?
"Apologize!"
I stared at Mateo fiercely. I felt as if I had heard a big joke.
"Apologize? Mia, don't forget, you are my wife!
"You aborted my children for him. And you two are planning to have an illegitimate child and make me a cuckold. Now you want me to apologize to him?
"Are you mad?"
At this point, I finally knew why she was so resolute.
"Enough, Rodrick!
"The uterus is mine. I can choose to have children or not. This is my freedom!
"If you dare to hurt Mateo again, I will fight you back! Do you want to lose me?"
I sneered repeatedly, my heart totally broken.
"I can't stand a wife like you!"
Mia gave me a disdainful look and frowned impatiently.
"You are emotionally unstable now, and I won't talk to someone who has lost their sanity. Calm down first!"
After the conflict, Mia's face became even paler. She turned around and helped Mateo up from the ground.
"Mateo, you go back first! I'll contact you after I finish handling these!"
After saying that, she turned around and coldly blocked my way, stopping me from moving forward.
Mateo sneered at me, turned around, and disappeared into the night.
Mateo was special to Mia.
They grew up together and were once close lovers.
But after graduation, Mateo went abroad for his study, and they had to separate.
I thought she had long forgotten him, but now it seemed that she had always been loving him.
Now he just came back and showed up there, and Mia couldn't wait to get rid of my children to make room for his.
I restrained my anger and bitterness with all my strength.
"Why?"
Mia withdrew her gaze from the direction Mateo had left. Without even looking at me, she weakly sat on the edge of the bed.
"Mateo, Mateo has cancer and won't live long."
Her tears rolled down like broken beads. She was heartbroken for him.
I wondered if she would shed tears for me too when she knew that I had leukemia.
"I just can't be indifferent...
"You know, he is the only child in his family. If he dies, the Ferrari family's bloodline will be cut off.
"I can't bear to watch him disappear from this world. I want to have a child with him, to continue his bloodline."
So she sacrificed our children?
I didn't have much time left, my bloodline would also be cut off.
When I learned about my illness, the first thing I thought about was how she was to support herself alone.
I would rather she choose to abort our children because she could not bear the burden, rather than she did it to give birth to her childhood sweetheart's child.
My heart grew colder inch by inch, and the sharp pain was followed by endless numbness.
"He left me because he found out about his poor health and he was afraid of burdening me.
"He has suffered a lot over the years, and now that he is at the end of his life, he just wants to spend the last moments with his loved one without any regrets.
“He has done so much for me, and I feel deeply indebted. I want to have a child for him, as a way to repay him for his love all these years.”
It was the most absurd thing I had heard.
My heart was ruthlessly trampled on. Her words made my eight years of effort a joke.
"So me and our children are supposed to be sacrifices for your love?"
Mia wiped away the tears from her eyes. She stubbornly looked at me without any guilt.
"I know you are angry about my abortion, but this is my own decision. Don't blame Mateo.
"In my opinion, exchanging two lives for the continuation of a bloodline is worth it!
"Don't even think about stopping me. If anyone stops me, I'll kill myself. Since you love me so much, you definitely don't want to see me in a difficult situation, right?"
I looked at her and suddenly felt she was like a stranger.
So many things happened today. My mind was chaotic. I took out my own diagnosis and handed it to her.
She took it with confusion.