How was that fair?
When she saw I wasn't letting go, Mom smoothed back my hair and spoke softly.
"Silly girl. If I stay, it only makes things harder for you."
I shook my head. "Mom, I'm not afraid of hard."
"But I am."
She looked at me, tears balanced on her lashes, refusing to fall.
"I'm afraid you'll fight with them because of me."
"I'm afraid that after the fight, you'll hide somewhere and cry alone."
"I'm afraid that after the crying, you'll still have to face those same people the next morning."
The bridge of my nose burned. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.
Mom gently wiped them away, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Zoe, I know you're a good daughter."
"But it breaks my heart."
"If having me here means you're caught in the middle, torn apart from both sides, then I'd rather I never came at all."
I opened my mouth to speak, but the elevator doors slid open.
Mom pulled free of my hand and stepped inside. She turned to face me and smiled.
"I'm going now."
"Go back inside. It's cold out here."
Standing there, watching my mother smile at me through reddened eyes as the doors began to close, something shifted inside me.
A bold plan took shape.
I didn't force her to come back to the apartment.
Instead, I took her to the best hotel in the neighborhood and booked a room.
Rather than make her sleep in that guest room with its stained mattress, I'd let her have one comfortable night.
After check-in, I walked her to her room.
She took in the elegant furnishings, then drifted to the window and gazed down at the glittering city lights spread out below. Her whole body went stiff with unease.
"Zoe, didn't Connor say there was a motel around here for sixty dollars a night? Why did you bring me to a place like this?"
"Look at this room. It must cost a fortune."
I took her hands, calloused and rough, and guided her to the edge of the bed. We sat down together, and I looked her in the eye.
"Mom, your daughter can afford it now. Just this once, let me take care of you. Okay?"
She looked at me. Her lips trembled, parted, then pressed together again. Finally, she nodded, her eyes glistening.
I smiled and stood up.
"Get some rest tonight. I'll come pick you up tomorrow and we'll go out, do some shopping, have a real day together."
Mom waved her hands frantically. "No, no. You have work tomorrow. I'll head home first thing in the morning. I've already been enough trouble."