The cold air of the night was clinging to my skin even though it should be a warm night to celebrate my coming of age.
Desar had promised he would be home early to celebrate. I’d spent all day preparing—dinner ready, a small cake waiting, candles, everything set. So when he called around noon to say he’d be “a little late” because of an “unexpected engagement,” I let myself believe him. After all, he’d said it with that calm, detached tone he always used, the one that kept his distance even from me, his mate.
When the sky turned dark, he still hadn’t returned. I decided to check my messages and noticed a notification. A video had been uploaded by someone in the pack, tagged innocently enough, and I clicked out of idle curiosity. But then, my world tipped sideways.
There he was—Desar, laughing and setting off fireworks with Elize, the previous Alpha’s daughter, and his so-called childhood friend. His expression was alive, a look of warmth I’d never seen directed at me. He wore a carefree smile as he looked down at her, eyes softened with tenderness. My heart clenched as I watched the fireworks reflect in his eyes, bright and full of life. I’d convinced myself Desar just wasn’t the type to show emotion like that; he was distant because he was… reserved, maybe. But no, that side of him was there—it just wasn’t for me.
As the cheers in the video rose around them, I realized how foolish I’d been. I sat in the quiet of his empty apartment, the cake sitting untouched on the table. The flickering candles I’d set up earlier suddenly looked dim, and the evening I’d so carefully prepared felt pointless.
I took a deep breath and dialed his number. Desar picked up after a few rings, his voice cold and clipped. “What is it?”
There was laughter in the background and the faint sound of a firework bursting. I held back a shudder, and after a long silence, I said, “Where are you?”
“Just finishing up at the office. Is this important?” he replied, his tone casual, even a bit annoyed.
He wasn’t even trying to lie convincingly. The ease in his voice confirmed what I already knew. I felt a bitterness rise in me as I looked at the video again.
“Let’s break up,” I said, my voice firm and even.
He scoffed, dismissive. “You’re being dramatic again, Maisie.”
My fingers clenched around the phone as I replied, “Browse the pack’s chat if you want to know what I mean. You’re a regular celebrity there now.”
Before he could respond, I hung up. My hand shook as I placed the phone down, but I didn’t let myself dwell on it. I’d made my decision, and I wouldn’t let him waver it. I looked around his apartment—no, it was never really ‘our’ home, just a place I’d existed in, trying to hold on to someone who never fully belonged to me.
The foods I’d prepared were now cold. I packed them into containers, then gathered my things, knowing I didn’t want to wake up here anymore. The life I’d clung to was as empty as this apartment now.
I left without looking back, heading straight to my parents’ old place on the edge of pack territory. My small, isolated home—a gift they’d given me after I’d graduated—felt like the only haven I had left. Desar had convinced me to leave it behind to be closer to him, but it was all a lie, just like his promises.
That night, the silence of the house felt comforting. I hadn’t realized how stifling it was, living under his shadow, in his space, until I was back here on my own. I lay down, feeling a strange, heavy emptiness, but also a small spark of relief.
That quiet night didn't end silent after all. The coming of age year is also when I'm shifting for the first time. Without my mate next to me, the shift was so painful to the point that I could die.
There were a few cases where female wolves died, anda rare case of them surviving the shift without a mate.
My bones cracked and twisted in unimaginable positions. My sight turned all black until it got clearer and became ten times better.
The next thing I heard was my voice screaming at the top of my lungs until it sounded like a howl under the full moon.
The next morning, I woke up in my room, my clothes folded neatly on top of my study table. I knew my mom prepared it for me.
I am one of the rare cases of a female wolf that survived the shift without Desar.
I couldn't remember what happened that night, but what matters was I survived.
After putting my clothes on, I checked my phone and saw Desar’s messages were waiting for my reply.
‘What’s gotten into you?’
‘Come back when you’re ready to stop being so difficult.’
I ignored them. There was nothing left to say to him, nothing I hadn’t said in a hundred different arguments. I’d tried so many times to make him see that I wasn’t just an option. Every time I voiced my feelings, he’d dismiss me or, worse, accuse me of wanting his full attention when he's busy enough as the pack's Alpha.
I clung to the hope that he might choose me over her someday.
But seeing them together, and hearing him lie to my face—it was as though every piece of hope I’d kept alive was shattered. This time, I was done pretending that his “friendship” with Elize was innocent.
As I looked around my small, safe home, I realized this was the first step toward reclaiming myself. The hurt was still fresh, but I felt an unexpected peace settling over me.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my phone and read his messages one last time. Then, with steady fingers, I blocked his number.
Since Desar wasn't present when I shifted into my wolf, we didn't create a bond as mates.
So, that supposedly life with him was behind me now. For the first time, I was free.
Chapter 2: Regretful DinnerThe time when we were together, felt as clear as the present.
I stepped out of work, tired but ready to head home when I spotted Desar. He was standing by the entrance, cool and calm as always, dressed in his usual suit, looking every bit the picture of stoic charm that had once drawn me in. I used to rush to his side, heart pounding, feeling grateful he was mine. But tonight, that spark wasn’t there. I sighed, clutching my bag a bit tighter, and turned toward the station instead.
Not one to let things go, Desar quickly fell into stride beside me. “It’s Kyle’s birthday tonight,” he said, voice smooth and composed. “He invited us to dinner.”
I stopped and glanced up at him. “Sure,” I replied. It didn’t matter much, but it saved me from the awkward silence of the train ride home.
In the car, I noticed the faint scent of jasmine lingering in the air. It was Elize’s scent. The familiar floral note stirred a sharp sting inside, knowing it clung to him from their time together, just another reminder of her constant presence in his life.
I forced a casual tone, “Do you like the smell of jasmine?”
Desar’s eyes flickered, though he tried to keep his voice steady. “It’s… okay.”
“Really?” I replied quietly.
The scent seemed to linger on him often enough that I wondered if it wasn’t intentional on her part, a mark of her claim in a way I’d never dared.
If someone from the pack smells him, they would think they're mates. But their pack members already knew the truth, yet they vouch for their “love”.
At the restaurant, Kyle and the others were already gathered. Desar walked straight to Elize, who looked up at him, visibly pleased.
She acted surprised to see me. “Maisie,” she greeted, overly polite, “it’s good you could make it.”
I smiled, but my conversation was directed to Kyle. “Thanks for the invite, Kyle,” I said, nodding to him. “I didn’t have time to bring a gift, though.”
Kyle waved a hand. “Don’t worry, Maisie. Desar’s covered it.”
I resisted the urge to laugh. Even this was taken care of for me, an afterthought.
The seating arrangement felt deliberate—me across from Desar, with Elize beside him, her chair angled just slightly toward his. I chose to ignore the awkwardness, pretending the slight didn’t bother me as I focused on the meal in front of me.
While I kept quiet, Desar laughed and joked with them as if I weren’t even there. I noticed the way he peeled shrimp for Elize, carefully setting them on her plate, a small smile softening his usually impassive face. I felt a dull ache watching him. He’d never done that for me, not once. But with her, he acted like it was second nature, a familiar, affectionate gesture he didn’t even think twice about.
“Don’t forget about Maisie,” Kyle jokes, giving me a sympathetic smile. “Can’t have you favoring one over the other, Desar.”
Desar glanced up at me, looking momentarily confused as if he’d just realized I was there. “Order another plate,” he said. “I’ll peel some for you too.”
I took a breath, my heart sinking as I shook my head. “No need. I don’t like shrimp.”
He raised an eyebrow, looking surprised. “What about fish?”
“I don’t like it either,” I replied, tone steady.
“Chicken?”
“Desar, it’s fine,” I said, more firmly this time, my voice devoid of emotion. “I don’t like anything you’re offering.”
He looked genuinely thrown as if he couldn’t fathom that I’d turned down his small attempt to appease me. I didn’t even bother meeting his gaze, focusing instead on my glass, the ice clinking softly as I took a slow sip.
Elize, ever so gracious, placed a hand on Desar’s arm, glancing over at me with a faint, almost pitying smile. “Maisie, please, don’t be upset. I’m sure Desar didn’t mean to forget about you.”
It took everything not to laugh at her mock concern, her tone just patronizing enough to remind me that, in her mind, I was merely the complication between her and Desar. My heart hardened, the small cracks from the past months widening with every second I sat at that table, feeling like an outsider among his closest friends.
I excused myself as the evening stretched on, stepping out onto the balcony to escape the suffocating atmosphere. The cool air was a relief, and for a brief moment, I let myself acknowledge the truth I’d been running from. Desar’s life, his world, was one where I would always be on the sidelines, and Elize would always be at the center, like a magnetic force pulling him back, time and again.
A few minutes later, Desar joined me, shutting the door quietly behind him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, voice low. “You’ve been distant all evening.”
I shook my head, refusing to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t belong here, Desar.” I finally met his gaze, letting him see the weight of what I’d realized. “Not here, not with you, not anymore.”
His jaw tightened. “Maisie, you’re overreacting.”
“Maybe,” I said, feeling the numbness settle in. “But maybe I’m finally seeing things for what they are.”
“Seeing that we are mates? Everyone knows that,” he continued.
“It wasn't about everyone knowing it! You're acting like Elize's mate more than mine. Of course, you knew that and you never cared about my feelings,” I bursted out.
“Stop this nonsense Maise. Why are you comparing yourself to Elize? You're my mate. That should be enough for you.” Yet, just having the title is not something I could hold on to.
Any minute, a political marriage between Desar and Elize is not impossible. Desar is Alpha of the Stanley pack and Elize is the daughter of the previous pack -perfect match from the moon goddess.
“Come on inside, it's freezing out here.”
With that, I obeyed my Alpha and went back in.
Chapter 3: Not-So-Fun Night With AlphaAs I sat across from Desar at the dinner table, Elize and Kyle cast glances my way, their faces barely masking the amusement under false sympathy. Elize's expression was particularly smug, and I knew she was reveling in the distance she’d managed to wedge between Desar and me.
Feigning innocence, Kyle leaned in. "Maisie, you’re not still upset about that big surprise Desar threw for Elize last week, are you?” He smirked, clearly enjoying himself.
Elize chimed in, flashing me an apologetic look that didn’t reach her eyes. "I’m so sorry, Maisie. I was in a tough spot, and Desar just wanted to cheer me up with a little… gesture. Isn’t that right, Desar?" Her voice was soft, the words sugar-coated with false humility.
Desar barely looked at me, and his tone was dismissive as he replied, "It was just a few fireworks, Maisie. No big deal." He sounded almost bored, as though the whole situation was trivial.
I held his gaze, masking the pain that twisted inside me.
"You’re right, Desar. The fireworks were quite the show. Do keep it up." With a calm smile, I picked up my bag, refusing to let them see me falter. “I just remembered I have unfinished work. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
As I turned to leave, I caught the look Elize shot me, a subtle, triumphant smile as though she’d claimed something valuable. A part of me felt crushed, but another part knew it was pointless to keep fighting for someone who couldn’t see how much they were hurting me.
Outside, the cool night air hit my face, clearing away the lingering warmth of the restaurant and the stifling reminder of what once was.
The streets buzzed around me, full of couples strolling hand-in-hand, laughing softly, wrapped in each other’s worlds. Once, Desar and I had been like that, inseparable, both of us sharing dreams, secrets, and promises.
Now, memories of those moments weighed heavily on me, yet I didn’t want to be seen as weak. I slowed my pace, a painful pang in my chest as I thought of all the small gestures Desar used to make, the way he would pull me closer or reach for my hand.
An ice cream truck parked nearby caught my eye, and on impulse, I decided to get one. As I took the first bite, a wave of memories flooded back.
It was when Desar laughed at my weakness for ice cream, teasing me, "You know it’ll just give you a stomachache later." But he would still indulge me, watching with that gentle smile. I shook the thought away, forcing myself to focus on the present.
Then, a strange taste lingered. The ice cream was oddly salty. I frowned, thinking it was off until I realized my tears were falling onto it. The realization struck me hard, and I quickly wiped my face with a tissue the vendor handed me, nodding in quiet thanks.
As I walked home, my phone buzzed with a message from Desar. It was a casual check-in:
‘Have you arrived home?’
The empty words stung, reminding me of the way he’d brushed off my pain tonight. I ignored it.
A few minutes later, another message arrived.
‘Everyone didn’t have a good meal because of you today. Let’s invite them to dinner another day.’
His indifference felt like a slap, his words filled with blame rather than any real concern. It was as though he thought my absence at that dinner was an inconvenience, rather than seeing it as a sign of how deeply he’d hurt me.
His name flashed across the screen once more as he tried calling. I placed my phone aside, turning a deaf ear to his attempts. If he couldn’t understand the weight of what he’d done, then there was nothing left to say.
Later, as I climbed into bed, I scrolled through my messages one last time, more out of habit than anything.
That’s when I saw a new status update from Elize. Posted just minutes ago, it was a picture of Desar sitting beside her in the backseat of a car. He looked relaxed, eyes closed as though content, while Elize gazed into the camera, leaning just close enough to show a level of intimacy I knew all too well. The caption stung worse than anything.
[It turns out I am still your first choice after so many years.]
I stared at it, my heart clenched tight, and a bitter smile curved on my lips. There it was. The truth I’d been unwilling to accept, was captured in a single, cruel message. I couldn’t pretend anymore, couldn’t ignore the reality staring back at me.
My wolf was in pain too. I know because I can communicate with her since I was young. I was the youngest she-wolf that could bond with an inner wolf even before the shifting started.
Old stories said that if that happens, the she-wolf is blessed by the moon goddess and the pack she's part of.
That's also the reason why when Alpha Stanley knew that I'm Desar's mate, he didn't object.
Taking a steady breath, I typed a quick reply: [Congratulations]
With that, I set my phone down, letting go of the last shred of hope I’d held onto.