Died with My Daughter

While my daughter, Adeline, awaited a kidney transplant, my husband, Paul, sat with Beatrix’s son during a checkup. Only thirty minutes before the operation, the kidney my daughter had been waiting for was taken from her.

When I confronted him in desperation, Paul’s response was chillingly simple. “Your life was saved by Beatrix, and she only has one son. Consider this repayment for the life you owe her.”

Beatrix’s son received the kidney, and my daughter died of organ failure.

From that moment, I swore I’d repay Beatrix. But when I tried to do so, Paul looked at me with horror, pressing down on my wound. “I was wrong! Please—don’t die!”

——

“Harith had a car accident. I’m waiting with Beatrix for the test results. I may not make it in time for Adeline’s surgery.” Paul’s voice carried Beatrix’s sobs as if they were his own.

I ended the call, fighting back tears. Forcing a smile, I kissed my daughter’s forehead. “Daddy ran into a little trouble on his way. But Adeline, you’re brave, right? I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Adeline nodded, her eyes uncertain. “Mommy, please stay close. I’m scared.”

As the red light over the operating room turned on, I took a shaky breath, composing myself as I pulled the divorce papers from my bag. Once Adeline’s surgery succeeded, I’d be done. What she needed was a real father, not just a title.

Then, abruptly, the operating room light switched off. A doctor rushed out. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, “we’ve just been informed that the hospital received a car accident patient in critical need. The kidney we’d planned to use for Adeline has been reassigned.”

For a moment, my world went black. Desperately, I fought to stay calm. “Where is...the person who took Adeline’s kidney?”

At the other end of the hallway, I heard a woman’s quiet sobs. Even if he’d turned to ashes, I’d know that figure anywhere.

It took only a second for everything to click. Only Paul could redirect the kidney at the last minute as he is also one of Adeline’s guardians.

“Paul! That’s Adeline’s kidney—the one she’s waited for all year!” My voice quivered. As I bolted towards the operating room, I slapped Paul with all the anger that boiled inside me. Paul’s lip bled from my slap, but his face remained passive.

“Alice, calm down. Adeline will still get a kidney. Harith’s case is more urgent now. Beatrix only has this one son and we owe her our lives. Think of it as repayment.”

I fought against him, desperate to reach my daughter, but his grip tightened. “You heartless bastard! Adeline is your own daughter!” My voice broke, as helpless as I felt.

Paul only held me tighter until the light turned off in the operating room and a doctor emerged, mask in hand. “The operation was a success, the patient is stable.”

Stunned, I realized what this meant. The kidney was gone. My daughter, my Adeline, could not wait.

“Is Daddy still busy?” Adeline’s eyes flickered to the door before she looked away, defeated.

I spooned some chicken soup into her mouth, forcing a smile. “Daddy will come when he’s finished.”

At that moment, the door swung open. Adeline’s face lit up. “Daddy!”

Paul took her in his arms, his face the picture of a devoted father. I resisted the urge to tear down his facade and left the room in silence. He didn’t stay longer than five minutes.

“Feeling weak? Can’t keep pretending anymore?” I sneered.

“I’ll find a way to get Adeline a kidney. It was an emergency and Harith is just a child—I couldn’t just stand by and watch him die,” Paul replied, furrowing his brow at me. His expression suggested I was the cold-blooded one. Then, he noticed the lunchbox in my hand.

“By the way, Beatrix’s been sick the past few days. Harith doesn’t have anyone else to take care of him, and I don’t trust Auntie alone. Why don’t you go check on him? When you make soup, prepare some extra portions for Harith and Beatrix. They both need to build up their strength.”

I clenched the lunchbox tightly.

“No. Adeline’s condition is worsening. She needs someone with her all the time.”

“You’re not a doctor. What good does it do for you to be here constantly?” He frowned, dismissive. “Besides, it’s not like you can find her a kidney by staying here. If you push me, I may be too distracted to arrange it myself.”

A chill swept over me. I could barely believe that Paul, her own father, would threaten me with Adeline’s life.

He softened his tone slightly. “I’m only saying this to avoid wasting time on unnecessary arguments. I’ll get Adeline a kidney as soon as possible; she’s my daughter too.” The apology held no sincerity.

I laughed bitterly, trying to stay composed. “Fine. I’ll go make the soup.”

But as I turned, a wave of dizziness overcame me. My vision blurred, and I stumbled. Paul caught me, a crack forming in his calm exterior.

“You haven’t rested since that day, have you? I’ll take you to get checked out.”

I struggled out of his grasp. “I don’t want to trouble you. Don’t worry—I’ll take care of Beatrix and Harith.”

His face darkened and he called for a nurse. “Alice, must you punish yourself to spite me?”

I fought against the vertigo. “Think whatever you want. Just save Adeline.”

Paul’s calm facade crumbled as he raised his voice in frustration. “You’d better pray you don’t collapse first, or who will take care of Adeline?”

I closed my eyes, feeling a hollow laugh rise. In the past, I’d lost myself in Paul’s shifting affections, but now, his false concern only left me empty.

Later, the nurse handed me my test report, her face tense. “It’s a tumor,” she said softly.

I accepted the report, calmly placing it in a drawer. “Please don’t tell my husband.”

“But it’s serious…”

“Don’t worry. He has other concerns now. I’ll tell him eventually. This is my responsibility.”

After making the soup, I took it to Beatrix’s hospital room. As I entered, Beatrix’s frail face lit up with a mocking smile.

“Look at Mrs. Alice herself, making soup for me and my precious son,” she said scornfully.

Ignoring her jab, I placed the soup down, prepared to leave. Her voice cut through the air, sharp and venomous.

“How long does your precious daughter have left? A month, without a proper kidney? My son has a strong sense of timing—don’t you think it was fortunate he needed a kidney when he did?”

My fists clenched. “When Adeline recovers, I’ll be done with you.”

Beatrix laughed darkly. “Recover? I took it once; I can take it again. You should be preparing your daughter’s farewell.”

I slapped her. Before I could strike again, Paul grabbed my wrist, forcing me aside.

“Alice! What’s gotten into you? Beatrix saved your life and you repay her by treating her like this?”

Beatrix’s voice softened to a pitiful whimper. “I chose to help Alice. If she’s anxious over Adeline, don’t blame her. It’s my fault—I’m just useless.”

Paul pointed to the door, his voice cold. “Get out. I should never have let you come here. You’re both mothers—can’t you be more understanding? Is Adeline the only child who matters?”

I leaned against the wall, feeling a weight press down on me. For the first time, I could admit the truth: the most helpless person here was me.

Since I was nineteen, my life had been trapped in the shadow cast by Beatrix. And I had never managed to escape.

Paul once told me that I helped him turn his life around. After he found hope, he wanted to share it with others. Among the people he helped, Beatrix was the most special.

When Beatrix was nineteen, she insisted on going alone to pick up my birthday cake and ended up surrounded by a gang of punks. Paul reminded me, “She’s doing this for you; one day, you should protect her a little.” My heart ached for Beatrix—so vulnerable, so alone. Ignoring an odd feeling I couldn’t quite place, I agreed.

At twenty-two, Beatrix went alone to pick up my wedding ring, only to be attacked on her way back, casting a shadow over our wedding day. Paul told me, “She’s pregnant now and wants to keep the child. She met us because of you. You should take care of her.” I sympathized with her and didn’t question his words. I simply did my best to support her.

When I was twenty-three, after a difficult labor, I finally delivered Adeline. When I woke up, the first face I saw was Beatrix’s, looking pale and worn. Paul explained, “Beatrix passed out from donating blood to save you. We owe her our lives now.”

I’d just narrowly escaped death, yet a chill ran through me as if I were bound by something unseen. After Paul left, Beatrix’s weak smile turned sharp. “Alice, from today onward, you owe me a life. Remember that debt.”

I lost the right to celebrate my own wedding anniversary. “It’s too painful for Beatrix,” Paul said. “It’s cruel to celebrate when she has suffered so much for us.”

And Adeline has never had a birthday celebration since she was born. “Her birth almost cost me you and nearly killed Beatrix,” he’d say. “It’s better not to make a fuss over birthdays.”

Beatrix. Her name hung over me like a shadow, a nightmare I couldn’t shake.

I still didn’t understand how doing one good deed led to a lifetime of debts to Beatrix. I didn't know how my life became burdened by obligations I never asked for.

I made Adeline’s fifth birthday cake with my own hands. She no longer asked why Daddy wasn’t there. She just kissed me with a bright, joyful smile.

“What’s your birthday wish, Sweetie?” I asked, curious.

I thought she’d wish for health, to recover quickly, so she could go to school and play like other children.

"Mom, I wish you to be healthy and happy from now on," Adeline said without hesitation.

I was stunned. "Why do you wish for that?"

She looked at me, her little hand gently brushing my cheek. “Mommy, you've lost so much weight since I got sick,” she said softly, warm and fuzzy.

I kissed the palm of her hand, feeling a surge of love. "I want to get better soon so I can stay with Mommy all the time."

Adeline laughed. "Since I didn’t get a birthday last year, let’s make two wishes! I wish for Mommy to be healthy and happy and for Adeline to get well soon."

I pushed the cake in front of her. "Blow out the candles, and your wishes will definitely come true."

Suddenly, the door to the hospital room flew open. Paul stood there, his voice hard and cold as he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. The cake toppled over, but he couldn’t care less.

"Beatrix fainted on her way here after rushing to make a cake for Adeline. Go take care of Harith," he ordered.

I shook his hand off, unable to hold back anymore. "Did I force her to do that? Did I make her come here? She should be responsible for her own actions!"

"Today is Adeline's birthday! No one asked for her hypocritical cake. If she had died in a car accident on the way here, would you have blamed me and asked me to pay her back with my life?”

Paul’s expression turned icy. “Alice, how did you become so cold-blooded? Do you regret marrying me?”

I laughed bitterly, a cruel idea flashing through my mind. "Then let’s end this. We’ll get a divorce, you can marry Beatrix, and we can call it even for her so-called life-saving debt. Just beg her to let me go from now on, okay?"

He grabbed my chin roughly, his voice like ice. “Take it back. Don’t even think about divorce.”

His grip tightened, as if reminding me of something I could not escape. "Today is Adeline's birthday, but whether or not she lives to see another one depends on what you do."

I stared at him, my shoulders gradually sagging as I surrendered to the numbness. "Fine. I’ll go."

Harith was rarely awake, then he looked at me with wide, quiet eyes, like he was afraid to say or do the wrong thing. I couldn’t bring myself to hate him, no matter what had happened between me and Beatrix. He was just a child—innocent and even less fortunate than Adeline in many ways. His life seemed to be used for his mother’s constant need for sympathy.

One night, as I watched over Harith, an uneasy feeling crept over me. A mother’s intuition, they call it. I couldn’t ignore it. I had to check on Adeline. Something didn’t feel right.

I stood up, trying to slip out quietly. But just as I reached the door, I heard a small, strangled gasp behind me. Harith was suddenly struggling to breathe, his tiny chest heaving. Doctors and nurses rushed in and I froze for a moment as they crowded around his bed, working to help him.

I glanced back once more but knew I couldn’t wait. I slipped out of the room and into the hallway, my mind set on getting to Adeline. But as I hurried down the hall, someone grabbed onto my leg, making me stop.

It was Beatrix, on her knees, her face wet with tears. She clung to me, shaking with grief and panic, her eyes wild and full of hurt.

“How could this happen?” she cried. “The doctor said this morning that Harith was doing well! He only had the soup you made…”

Her words stung, like a hidden accusation. She gripped my leg tighter, as if I was her only lifeline. “Alice, if you’re mad at me, then hate me, but don’t take it out on Harith. He’s just a child…he’s everything I have!”

I tried to pull my leg free, feeling her words jab at my already frayed nerves. “Move, Beatrix,” I said, keeping my voice firm. “I need to see Adeline.”

But she didn’t let go. Her eyes hardened with bitterness. “Of course,” she spat, her voice filled with anger. “Only Adeline matters to you, doesn’t she? Harith means nothing to you, just because he’s my child.”

I felt a flash of anger rise up, but I forced it down. I couldn’t let her words distract me from Adeline, not now. Beatrix’s constant accusations and need for attention were wearing me down. But her words stayed with me, making my heart feel even heavier.

Just then, Paul appeared at the end of the hallway. He walked over quickly, his face serious and tense. Without a word, he grabbed my arm, holding me firmly. He glanced at Harith’s room, his eyes flickering with worry, but he focused back on me.

“Stay here and explain,” he said firmly. “Harith can’t handle another complication, Alice.”

My heart pounded as I looked up at him, feeling trapped. “I need to be with Adeline,” I said quietly, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. But he didn’t let go.

“Alice,” he said, his tone softening a little, but his grip stayed firm. “This isn’t just about you. This is about Harith—a child who’s suffering. And Beatrix thinks you’re the reason. Talk to her. Help her understand.”

A lump formed in my throat and I struggled to hold back my emotions. I glanced over my shoulder at Harith’s room, where doctors were still working to help him. He looked so small and fragile, caught in a struggle he didn’t deserve. A strange feeling rose within me—something I couldn’t quite name, but it hurt all the same.

Beatrix’s tearful eyes were locked onto me, full of accusation and sorrow. Her hands still clung to my arm, shaking as she tried to steady herself. She took a shaky breath, her gaze never leaving mine.

“If you had any compassion, you’d understand what it feels like to fear for your child,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “To know that their life is hanging by a thread.”

Her words hit me hard. For a moment, I felt her pain—her fear for Harith’s life. A part of me wanted to reach out, to comfort her, even if just for a moment. But then, I thought of Adeline, my own daughter, lying in a hospital bed, needing me. My heart twisted painfully, torn between these two children caught in a situation neither of them could control.

Taking a deep breath, I gently placed a hand on Beatrix’s shoulder, looking into her eyes with as much calm as I could find. “I understand your pain,” I said softly. “But I need to be with Adeline right now. She’s my daughter, and she needs me.”

Beatrix’s grip on my arm loosened, and her shoulders slumped with sadness. She nodded slowly, and for a brief moment, it felt like there was a small understanding between us—two mothers bound by the love for their children, both caught in a struggle we didn’t ask for.

Without another word, I turned and walked away, the echo of my footsteps filling the hallway as I made my way back to Adeline.

A blinding flash of light pierced through my eyes.

“Get out of my way and don’t stop me,” I murmured, pushing through. “The doctor’s here; I’m useless here now. If you want to charge me with murder, there’ll be plenty of time for that afterward.”

Adeline—my Adeline—I could still hear her faintly calling for her mommy, but the movement on the hospital bed behind me had stopped.

The doctor removed his mask and looked at us with weary sympathy. “I’m sorry... my condolences.”

Beatrix collapsed, her sobs filling the room as she clung to me desperately. "Sister Alice, tell me, what did I do to deserve this? Why are you treating me this way?”

Paul’s grip tightened around my arm, making it impossible for me to move. His brows were drawn together in frustration. "What could you possibly have that’s more important than a life? Stay here and explain yourself.”

My heart thundered, but his words grew faint, drowned out by the relentless sound of Adeline’s cries in my mind. In the dark recesses of my mind, something dawned on me, and the heat of my anger turned to cold. I forgot to struggle.

Then Adeline’s attending doctor arrived, panting, clutching the door frame. “Adeline... she couldnt make it.”