He considerately adjusted my hospital bed so I could sit up, then opened the still-warm box and held a piece near my lips.
I stared at it blankly. The pastries had lost their appeal.
It was clear he held deep grudges against me, but on his face, he could still show deep love.
I felt like a puppet trapped in a cruel performance, my suffering just part of the show. Even if I died, I would just be another prop left on stage until someone decided to kick me aside.
Beneath the covers, my hands clenched into tight fists as the misery almost strangled my breath.
Simon gently touched my face while smiling at me. “You’re not mad about me saving Kelly first, are you? She can’t swim like you can, so I had to go for her. Come on, don’t be mad, okay?”
I just nodded expressionlessly.
Trying to change my mood, he softened his voice even more. “Let’s not talk about that anymore. Let’s talk about us. Have you thought about where you want to hold the wedding? What kind of dress you want? What shape of diamond you want for your ring?”
He added, "We have to plan it soon. Once your belly shows, you won’t look good in a wedding gown.”
There would be no wedding. No baby. Not anymore.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I said softly. “I’m tired. I just want to sleep.”
Simon didn’t argue. He tugged the blanket gently around my body, kissed the corner of my mouth and quietly left.
When I looked at his back as he left, my heart was as calm as a puddle of stagnant water.
How long is he planning to keep up this act? I wondered.
He had talked about marriage before, too. However, it was all just talk. I knew he was not going to marry me. Since I knew the truth, I would not stay. We had become two parallel lines that could never meet again.
For the past few days, Simon had conveniently found excuses not to visit and I was done pretending.
Today was my birthday. In the past, Simon would have planned an entire day filled with surprises. He would have showed up with gifts, dinner reservations, little romantic gestures.
However, today, my phone buzzed endlessly, not with birthday wishes, but with messages from the chat group where Simon and his buddies discussed plans for throwing a celebration, not for me though. It was for Kelly. They wanted to congratulate her on landing a spot in the Victoria runway show.
Not wanting to see any more of it, I simply turned off my phone.