But Margaret told me,
“It’s alright. Even if you don’t help, I won’t be angry. As long as you and your brother are safe, I don’t care if it costs me my life.”
I cried and promised her,
“I’ll be good. I’ll take care of my brother. Mommy, you have to stay safe.”
At ten, when Daniel and Margaret were taking Ryan to New York City, Margaret squeezed my hand awkwardly that night.
“Mom won’t leave you. It’s just that having two kids is too heavy a burden. Your dad and I can’t earn enough. But don’t worry, I’ll take more jobs—I’ll sweep streets, dig through trash for food—anything, just to take you with us.”
I cried and told them,
“I’ll be fine in the county by myself. Don’t worry about me.”
At fifteen, when I scored first in the entire county and earned the right to attend the best high school in the city, a second-rate private high school offered me a large scholarship. I didn’t want to go, but Margaret knelt in front of me.
“I know you want the best school, and I won’t force you. It’s your brother who’s weak, and it’s us as parents who are useless. You go study, and we’ll support you—even if your dad and I have to pick garbage, even if your brother does too, we’ll support you.”
I sighed and signed the private school contract.
But this time, for the first time, I didn’t give in.
The blood on my face dried as the noise outside raged on. Ryan pounded on my door.
“Emily Carter, get out here! You made Mom and Dad suffer, and you still dare hide? You better get on your knees and apologize to them!”
“I knew it—your good girl act was fake. You’ve been waiting for this moment to take revenge, haven’t you? And Mom’s always bragging about you to everyone. Well, I’ll show them your true face, you ungrateful wretch.”
“Mom and Dad starved and saved all these years to raise us, and you’re this heartless? Raising you was a waste. And you still want to study? What’s the use of studying, huh? You can shove your books where the sun doesn’t shine. I despise you!”
The thin wooden door shook under his pounding.
His voice was hoarse, unhinged.
“I knew it—too much studying makes people forget where they came from. Look at those Ivy League kids—they leave the country and never come back. You’re the same. The more you study, the wilder your heart gets. You even dare go against Mom and Dad. Well, today I’ll make things right. Mom doesn’t dare deal with you, but I do!”
This room was carved out of the balcony.