She only left after Samuel soothed her with patient words. When everyone had gone, Samuel sat before me. He lit a cigarette; the smoke obscured his face. His voice was calm, impassive. "You're an old fool—why argue with a child?" "I said you're the only one I love, but I'm still a man and have needs." He flicked ash from his cigarette. His eyes lingered on my reddened, frost-bitten chest, then looked away. "Look at all those scars, they're terrible." "Every time you stand naked before me, I see those wounds, great and small, and I feel..." He paused, but the word came precisely. "Disgust." Samuel rose slowly. He placed a jade token—bought with blood—into my palm. "But don't worry, I only love you." "No matter who else I am with, you have my place." "I've fought half my life; now I want to settle and live decently." For years, he had told me to wait. Wait until he owns all the docks. Wait to reach the peak. Then he'd retire and live well with me. For that promise, I endured beatings and scorn. Even pierced by bloody wounds, I never thought to quit. I pictured a quiet life for three, at peace. What Samuel pictured was a handsome wife and concubines, contentment and ease. I breathed, sensing the man before me both familiar and strange. The boy who endured insults for me, who swore to fight and massacre in Tongwan. The Samuel who had pulled me from a trash heap and promised a home. Now he seemed like another person. My fingertips stroked the gun's cold muzzle. I inhaled and told him, "Let's get a divorce." At nineteen, I would have raged. I would have stabbed the two in the act again and again and thrown them into the sea. But now... I touched my belly; bitterness rose in my throat.