Once I stepped outside, the cold wind and light rain went into my coat, making it wet and cold.
I couldn’t stop shaking and the sickness eased a little.
A child. They actually had a child.
Freddie, who always said he didn’t like kids, had a child with another woman.
In ten years, Freddie and I had five pregnancies, but every time, we ended them.
Freddie had a bad habit: he refused to use condoms.
Each time, I took birth control pills and if I got pregnant, I had an abortion.
His reasons for not wanting kids were simple. He said he was focused on his career and he didn’t like children.
Every time I had an abortion, Freddie would buy me all kinds of things to make me feel better.
He often said we were still young and that all these years had been too packed for us to enjoy being a couple.
Perhaps since I loved him so much, whatever he said always moved me.
From drinking and taking birth control pills for so long, my body was already badly hurt.
During my fifth pregnancy, the doctor said that if I lost that one, I might never have children again.
On our third wedding anniversary, I prepared a table full of dishes, hoping to talk to Freddie.
I wanted to keep the baby, but I didn’t see him.
Instead, I walked in and saw him and Imogen wrapped together on the office sofa.
“Bella, who allowed you to walk in without knocking!”
“Leave!” Freddie grabbed the clothes on the floor and covered the woman in his arms.
Imogen stared at me with a helpless look, like a scared little animal.
That day, I ran out in shock.
I even remembered to shut the door behind me.
When Freddie came home that night, the whole place was in chaos.
I threw the food and the cake onto the ground, ripped up every picture of Freddie and me and broke anything I could reach.
Freddie stepped through the mess and sat down in front of me.
In the end, I was the one who spoke first, asking him when it began.
“You don’t want the answer.”
“Bella, wouldn’t it be easier if you stayed home as Mrs. Williams?”
Freddie stayed just as far away and his words hit me like something cold.
I lost control and called Imogen right in front of him.
Freddie grabbed my phone and smashed it apart. “Are you out of your mind? She has no idea!”
The room seemed to freeze.
I looked at him with a tight smile and asked, “Freddie, does she really know nothing?”