Cold silence and emotional pressure were his usual ways of dealing with me.
Being the one who cared first, I never dared waste energy on fights or drawn-out stand-offs.
Each time, I swallowed the grievances and stepped back first.
But he never understood that love wears down. When it ran out, it would be gone.
I took two fever tablets.
Then I wrote to the senior who had urged me many times to take overseas roles, and whom I had refused every single time.
[Sister Helena, I’m ready to take the overseas expansion assignment.]
She was thrilled. “I knew it! You’re the type who sees what really counts. With your dual mentors from Dothan, staying in the admin department wastes your skills. Once the overseas work settles in, the director position at the main office will be waiting for you.”
Halfway through, she stopped.
“It’s only… this stretch abroad will last around five years. Aren’t you close to getting married? Your husband….”
“We won’t be getting married.”
After ending the call, I pulled out a suitcase and started sorting.
The cups we painted together.
The charms we tied together at the church.
The things we bought were matching sets.
Every one of them turned into trash, stuffed straight into garbage bags.
During that stretch, Zaria kept texting me.
A photo of a broad hand rubbing her stomach.
[Chase said my tummy aches. He has this special rubbing trick that makes it go away. Astraea, has Chase ever rubbed your tummy before?]
A hot plate of pot pies was shown late at night.
[I offhandedly said I wanted chicken soup, and Chase drove fifty kilometers to buy them for me. Nothing tastes better than chicken soup, and nothing is more fun than Chase, hehe.]
After dragging my suitcase to the trash area and throwing everything out, I blocked her.
There was no sadness.
Only a huge, freeing ease.
By the time Chase came back, it was already noon the next day.
The moment our eyes met, he seemed briefly startled by the makeup I had put on purpose.
Smiling, he walked toward me and reached for my hand.
“Good girl. Since you know you were wrong, come eat. I bought chicken soup for you.”
The cheap plastic box held only a few torn skins.
He rubbed his nose awkwardly.
“I rushed home, so they got shaken apart. Let’s just head out to eat.”
I pulled my hand away.
“Probably no time today. I’m having dinner with my girl friends.”